Jesus

Man believed by Christians to be the Messiah from Jewish prophecy and Son of God. He said : " Love one another as you some yourself." His messages could be summerised as :love, peace, forgiveness and He was the only way to Heaven(John 3:16) .

Jesus said you must love your neighbors as you love yourself. peace love Christ Christians Faith

by Die Boer March 24, 2016

Jesus

Jesus was a great guy who caused many great things to happen.
GOD's son Jesus

"Jesus is my lord and savior"

by harrypottergeek November 22, 2015

Jesus

Jesus was born of a slut mother. The year was 0 Bc, mary and joseph were having problems with money and were about to be evicted from the summer loft by their dick land lord, Richard Cheney. Before Jesus was born they decided to move to bethlaham and rent a stable for the night. Jesus was born with his natural enemy being Super-Satan who rode on a flying motorcycle carrying a jar of marmalade which made you commit adultery. Jesus grew up and by -22Bc. Jesus joined the us army and fought in vietnam. he lost both legs six fingers and gave a rib to eden. He did a lot of drugs there so he had delusins that he was the son of god and followed bybums all accros modern manhatten. Eventually all the doctor jews got together and made jesus a criminal by saying his phsycodelic treatments where against the law. Jesus was found bumming for cigarrettes in jersey and was set to be hung from an old oak in league city texas. the words above jesus' head read "King of 281"

Jesus, Stop the malpractise.

by SJ.LC.TX June 7, 2011

Jesus

The King of kings and the Lord of lords. He is so holy and just and He can save you from your sins. He loves you and does not want you to die. He can save you.

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

by PRAISEGOD22 March 8, 2021

Jesus

God Almighty, the Holy One of Israel, the Ultimate Judge, the One Who died for you sins so you could go to Heaven.

1 Thessalonians 4:14

“For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.”

by mrfunny1234 May 14, 2020

Jesus

The name that people tend to use when they get pissed.

Guy at Krispy Kreme: Hi, I would like one free donut. Here's my coupon.

Lady at the register: Let me see that sir. (looks at reciept)

Oh yes, this is expired. Sorry sir. Next in line!

Guy: Jesus Christ!!!

Jesus Christ(next in line): Wha-at?!?

Guy: Oh, sorry Jesus. I just got pissed.

Jesus: Whose name do I say when I'm pissed, huh?!?

Guy: Mine?

Jesus: I suppose...but Jesus Christ is so catchy. I'll just say my name.

Guy: Tuff enough.

by hungrychance14 January 6, 2011

Jesus

-Our father who had died for us and our sins and who had saved us from the devil, he who is always here with us and will always be protecting you, for if you don’t believe he has done he shall say to you when you die “depart from me for I don’t know you”. Put your trust in him before it is to late. God bless you 🙏🏻

Jesus is my father, I live, stand and love for him.

by -human November 14, 2021