Papercuts are deadly and should be avoided at all times. They are an infamous happening throughout the world, with an increasing occurance rate in Asia. Paper Cuts is a rocking Nirvana song off the Bleach album.
* The first recorded recorded incident of a paper cut was 1240 AD, when an English monk pulled out a bible too quickly. The Book of Psalms flew out of the book and slid across his arm. "Damneth thine verses; I smiteth thee!" and other various curses were heard throughout the monestary.
* 1492 - Columbus sets out to the Americas. Returns from trip bearing gifts, King Ferdinand is angered when a scroll injures him.
* Ten years later, the King perishes due to internal bleeding after swallowing a secret message.
* March of 1865, Portugal bans paper from the country. Unfortunately, this was impossible, as the paperwork to be signed was sent out of the country.
* 1998 - Wisconsin Elementary student Mark Gifadet perfects his paper airplane design; plans for world domination fail when his teacher is struck through the heart with the plane.
* Late 2005 - Cheney is put through hospitalization after Sharkboy throws toilet paper rolls at him.
What to do if Papercutted
Papercuts happen no matter what you do to avoid them. If you are in the wild or bush and receive a papercut you must immediatly flush the wound with urine and fill the cavity of the cut with leper semen. This with stave off death for half an hour. Hobble off to the nearest stream and ritually wash yourself. It's the best you can do.
If you are in the proper facilities, then follow these instructions to heal yourself.
1. Sit in a comfortable position
2. Wait, sorry. Fetch a ladle and a laser printer
3. Resume your previous position
4. Take apart the printer and mash it to the consistancy of marmelade
5. Using the ladle, apply the printer juice to the area around the wound
6. Let the wound sit for 2-3 hours
Don't forget that it's always better to avoid such accidents than to have to treat them.
A Cure
Scientists in the Ukraine are currently working on a cure for papercuts; so far there has been great progress. Lead scientists across the nation banded together and put their collective efforts to one project. Pills are in the making, and a protective suit prototype is in testing.
* The first recorded recorded incident of a paper cut was 1240 AD, when an English monk pulled out a bible too quickly. The Book of Psalms flew out of the book and slid across his arm. "Damneth thine verses; I smiteth thee!" and other various curses were heard throughout the monestary.
* 1492 - Columbus sets out to the Americas. Returns from trip bearing gifts, King Ferdinand is angered when a scroll injures him.
* Ten years later, the King perishes due to internal bleeding after swallowing a secret message.
* March of 1865, Portugal bans paper from the country. Unfortunately, this was impossible, as the paperwork to be signed was sent out of the country.
* 1998 - Wisconsin Elementary student Mark Gifadet perfects his paper airplane design; plans for world domination fail when his teacher is struck through the heart with the plane.
* Late 2005 - Cheney is put through hospitalization after Sharkboy throws toilet paper rolls at him.
What to do if Papercutted
Papercuts happen no matter what you do to avoid them. If you are in the wild or bush and receive a papercut you must immediatly flush the wound with urine and fill the cavity of the cut with leper semen. This with stave off death for half an hour. Hobble off to the nearest stream and ritually wash yourself. It's the best you can do.
If you are in the proper facilities, then follow these instructions to heal yourself.
1. Sit in a comfortable position
2. Wait, sorry. Fetch a ladle and a laser printer
3. Resume your previous position
4. Take apart the printer and mash it to the consistancy of marmelade
5. Using the ladle, apply the printer juice to the area around the wound
6. Let the wound sit for 2-3 hours
Don't forget that it's always better to avoid such accidents than to have to treat them.
A Cure
Scientists in the Ukraine are currently working on a cure for papercuts; so far there has been great progress. Lead scientists across the nation banded together and put their collective efforts to one project. Pills are in the making, and a protective suit prototype is in testing.
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Papercut mug.When you are writing an essay, you present all the mundane topics just lke punches boxers give and take during a match. When one subject hits too close to home and you feel the sudden urge to spazz out on the paper, this momentary surge is called an 'uppercut' so to speak.
John was writing an essay on 'the life cycles of mammals' when suddenly he realized the book was insinuating that all mammals are a certain way. He began to spew a paragraph about how some mammals DO NOT act accordingly to traditional concepts. Incidentally, he threw an essay uppercut.
by collegegirl01391 April 10, 2011
Get the essay uppercut mug.Related Words
puppercut • papercut • Uppercut • pepperbutt • Fuppercut • Nuppercut • Nuppercutted • pumpernuts • pupperito • puppert
To slap one's genitalia hard on the underneath of human or animals chin.
The audible sound emitted from the mouth, is reportedly the same as the noise of tapping a tajine (earthenware cooking pot from North Africa) with a small rubber mallet.
The audible sound emitted from the mouth, is reportedly the same as the noise of tapping a tajine (earthenware cooking pot from North Africa) with a small rubber mallet.
by WillyWordsmith October 13, 2011
Get the Tagine Uppercut mug.A rather harmless sex act in which one person, upon getting shit dick from anal sex, then grabs their disgraced member, turns their partner around and slaps them on the chin with said brown weapon.
by Exciting Jeremy December 16, 2019
Get the Utah Uppercut mug.by Moe St Cool June 12, 2017
Get the san fran uppercut mug.I swear, Officer, he backed into a fire hydrant and I had to use a golf club to break out a window in his car so he could get out! I didn't hit him with a nine iron and then give him a tiger uppercut!
by Biff Skippy February 7, 2010
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