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Females Chavs:
Insist on wearing giant hoop earrings of a colossal size made out of some cheap gold equivalent that turns their skin green.
Their necks accommodate the dreaded "Sovereign" necklace with an engraved picture of someone that they actually know nothing about.
They like to wear velvet tracksuits consisting of pastel shades usually with some kind of untrue motif
on the back stating something like "Princess Forever".
They have not done their make up correctly unless their face is a ghastly shade of orange which makes them look like they've been spawned by two Umpa-Lumpa's from Mr Wonka's
chocolate factory.
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Their hair is usually one of three styles:
1/. Scraped back into a ridiculously tight pony tail and secured with 10 thousand scrunchies.
that went out with the Spice Girls. They then finish the common female 'Charver Barnett' by using 5 cans of cheap sticky hair spray to turn their fringes into a rock.
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2/. They sometimes claim to have gone to Tony & Guy for a hair cut even though everyone around them knows that they are a crappy liar because of 2 things:
a/. Their Dole money won't cover a hair cut in that place unless their kids are fed on 9 pence baked beans out of the tin.. AGAIN.
b/. Their hair looks like they used the bathroom bleach on it
religiously everyday for the past year. It resembles the straw from Farmer Briggs field that they walk past on their way to the Post Office to cash in their Dole Giros.
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3/. As flat as a 5 year old's chest with nasty cheap highlights in.. Clearly they wait until they acquire a
little sun and then drench their hair with
lemon juice and wait for the awful Halloween horror effect to set in.
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Female Chav's have adopted the habit of getting Medusa's (a kind of lip piercing) only instead of wearing nice little
silver balls they think it looks
attractive to wear whopping great faux gold ones that look like nasty spots pussing.
Of course they have to put up any spots/zits they receive as Boots the Chemist finally wised up to bottles of Oxy going missing and finally added store alarms.
They qualify for free things like achne specialist stuff but the doctors got so tired of the constant visits from the 18 year old mother with 5 children that they got kicked off the panel.
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Male Chavs:
Usually find it 'cool' and 'hard' to wear a small gold hoop in their ear or sometimes a small 'blinging' diamond.
They wear huge, thick fake gold chains as if trying to pull off that 'Mr T' look.
They too, are fond of wearing tracksuits like their female counter-parts only it is of major significance that the sport name logo or trade mark is showing to
demonstrate to OTHER Chav's how much of their 'well ace' Dole was spent this month.
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Their hair is usually one of two styles:
1/. The classic skin head 'I'm well hard' look.. Sometimes sporting some kind of bizarre shaven lines in random patterns forming their favourite
football team or the Addias symbol etc..
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2/. Short and with lot's of 45 pence gel spiking it up.
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Male Chav's like to adorn themselves with anything that they think might have the ability to make them look toughened.
A fine example of
this is the way they tilt their caps (usually burberry) to a high angle as they believe this increases their style of trying to be obdurate.
It actually just makes them look like a twat although they are too dense to see this.
They are very competitive in the world of racing other Chav's in seeing who can keep their trainers in the most
immaculate 'Snow White' condition, or who can show the most Adidas stripes.
It is of uber importance that their tracky bottoms are tucked into their socks as some kind of social trade mark of acceptance within the Chav mainstream.
You will usually hear them say something a long the lines of "Wot da fook u lukin at" and "Ya fookin startin? I wil bang yaz out innit"
This normally translates to "Excuse me friend, but are your eyes appearing in my general direction? I would very much like you to avert them as I am terribly afraid of anything 'different'.." and "Although you have actually said nothing, I perceive a slight movement from your head as a signal for me to open my mouth and utter wasteful words upon you. I will not actually physically assault you myself, what I actually mean is I will round up 10 of my cretinous buddies and I will let them
intimidate you and do my donkey work for me".
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So yes, I conclude that the 'Chav' is just an uninformed, unintellectual waste of human life.
They continue to produce more offspring which will grow up to be as simple-minded as the previous futile generation. They will grow to be Dole fodder or if they're lucky.. Maybe acquire work in a fast food place. FOREVER.
Their aspirations and dreams consist only of purchasing the next ugly gold chain from the market or buying more cigarettes from the local
corner shop.
They cost us time, tax and tears yet do not show any thanks except only to waste more of our time and so-forth. Anything that is remotely 'different' to them or considered as being a 'minority' is
automatically WRONG in their eyes.
They are ignorant and close-minded because they lack the capacity to
understand anything else beyond their own moronic world.
They are NOTHING.
..End..
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