7 definition by PeggyLuXXX

Top Definition
The Chav is a rare breed of imbecile who communicate to each other through incomprehensible grunts.
They can usually only be fully understood by other Chav's and will rarely acknowledge anybody in a friendly manner out of their own 'crew' with anything other than a firm nod and the occasional "rate" as if to ask the recipient if they are "alright today".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Females Chavs:

Insist on wearing giant hoop earrings of a colossal size made out of some cheap gold equivalent that turns their skin green.
Their necks accommodate the dreaded "Sovereign" necklace with an engraved picture of someone that they actually know nothing about.
They like to wear velvet tracksuits consisting of pastel shades usually with some kind of untrue motif on the back stating something like "Princess Forever".
They have not done their make up correctly unless their face is a ghastly shade of orange which makes them look like they've been spawned by two Umpa-Lumpa's from Mr Wonka's chocolate factory.
- - - - -
Their hair is usually one of three styles:

1/. Scraped back into a ridiculously tight pony tail and secured with 10 thousand scrunchies.
that went out with the Spice Girls. They then finish the common female 'Charver Barnett' by using 5 cans of cheap sticky hair spray to turn their fringes into a rock.
- - - - -
2/. They sometimes claim to have gone to Tony & Guy for a hair cut even though everyone around them knows that they are a crappy liar because of 2 things:

a/. Their Dole money won't cover a hair cut in that place unless their kids are fed on 9 pence baked beans out of the tin.. AGAIN.

b/. Their hair looks like they used the bathroom bleach on it religiously everyday for the past year. It resembles the straw from Farmer Briggs field that they walk past on their way to the Post Office to cash in their Dole Giros.
- - - - -
3/. As flat as a 5 year old's chest with nasty cheap highlights in.. Clearly they wait until they acquire a little sun and then drench their hair with lemon juice and wait for the awful Halloween horror effect to set in.
- - - - -
Female Chav's have adopted the habit of getting Medusa's (a kind of lip piercing) only instead of wearing nice little silver balls they think it looks attractive to wear whopping great faux gold ones that look like nasty spots pussing.
Of course they have to put up any spots/zits they receive as Boots the Chemist finally wised up to bottles of Oxy going missing and finally added store alarms.
They qualify for free things like achne specialist stuff but the doctors got so tired of the constant visits from the 18 year old mother with 5 children that they got kicked off the panel.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Male Chavs:

Usually find it 'cool' and 'hard' to wear a small gold hoop in their ear or sometimes a small 'blinging' diamond.
They wear huge, thick fake gold chains as if trying to pull off that 'Mr T' look.
They too, are fond of wearing tracksuits like their female counter-parts only it is of major significance that the sport name logo or trade mark is showing to demonstrate to OTHER Chav's how much of their 'well ace' Dole was spent this month.
- - - - -
Their hair is usually one of two styles:

1/. The classic skin head 'I'm well hard' look.. Sometimes sporting some kind of bizarre shaven lines in random patterns forming their favourite football team or the Addias symbol etc..
- - - - -
2/. Short and with lot's of 45 pence gel spiking it up.
- - - - -
Male Chav's like to adorn themselves with anything that they think might have the ability to make them look toughened.
A fine example of this is the way they tilt their caps (usually burberry) to a high angle as they believe this increases their style of trying to be obdurate.
It actually just makes them look like a twat although they are too dense to see this.
They are very competitive in the world of racing other Chav's in seeing who can keep their trainers in the most immaculate 'Snow White' condition, or who can show the most Adidas stripes.
It is of uber importance that their tracky bottoms are tucked into their socks as some kind of social trade mark of acceptance within the Chav mainstream.
You will usually hear them say something a long the lines of "Wot da fook u lukin at" and "Ya fookin startin? I wil bang yaz out innit"
This normally translates to "Excuse me friend, but are your eyes appearing in my general direction? I would very much like you to avert them as I am terribly afraid of anything 'different'.." and "Although you have actually said nothing, I perceive a slight movement from your head as a signal for me to open my mouth and utter wasteful words upon you. I will not actually physically assault you myself, what I actually mean is I will round up 10 of my cretinous buddies and I will let them intimidate you and do my donkey work for me".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So yes, I conclude that the 'Chav' is just an uninformed, unintellectual waste of human life.
They continue to produce more offspring which will grow up to be as simple-minded as the previous futile generation. They will grow to be Dole fodder or if they're lucky.. Maybe acquire work in a fast food place. FOREVER.
Their aspirations and dreams consist only of purchasing the next ugly gold chain from the market or buying more cigarettes from the local corner shop.

They cost us time, tax and tears yet do not show any thanks except only to waste more of our time and so-forth. Anything that is remotely 'different' to them or considered as being a 'minority' is automatically WRONG in their eyes.
They are ignorant and close-minded because they lack the capacity to understand anything else beyond their own moronic world.

They are NOTHING.

..End..
Source
by PeggyLuXXX June 10, 2007

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Somebody idiotic who thinks they look/sound good to other people over the Internet, a complete half-witted simpleton.
They possess a tendency to tAlK lIkE tHiS or add lot's of random characters at the beginning and end of their screen name.
They like to hang around in chat rooms, tick folk off with their scrolling of macros and constant asking of "A/S/L???" and are usually in their teens.

They attempt to talk 'code' with you and identify themselves (unknowingly) as a 'script kiddy'.
They annoy the crap out of people over the net so innocently in their n00b like manner, yet..

They are almost amusing to MANY people.
Lamer: "sEnD mEh Da FuNkY wRitin."

PeggyLuXXX: "You mean the program of which changes your FONT?"

Lamer: "i want meh writin all coooooooooool."

PeggyLuXXX: "Go and download it from the web site I gave you."

Lamer: "carnt."

PeggyLuXXX: "*Sigh*.. Er, why? o_O."

Lamer: "duNNo 2 hard. a/s/l?????????????????????."

..End..
by PeggyLuXXX June 11, 2007

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The Chav is a rare breed of imbecile who communicate to each other through incomprehensible grunts.
They can usually only be fully understood by other Chav's and will rarely acknowledge anybody in a friendly manner out of their own 'crew' with anything other than a firm nod and the occasional "rate" as if to ask the recipient if they are "alright today".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Females Chavs:

Insist on wearing giant hoop earrings of a colossal size made out of some cheap gold equivalent that turns their skin green.
Their necks accommodate the dreaded "Sovereign" necklace with an engraved picture of someone that they actually know nothing about.
They like to wear velvet tracksuits consisting of pastel shades usually with some kind of untrue motif on the back stating something like "Princess Forever".
They have not done their make up correctly unless their face is a ghastly shade of orange which makes them look like they've been spawned by two Umpa-Lumpa's from Mr Wonka's chocolate factory.
- - - - -
Their hair is usually one of three styles:

1/. Scraped back into a ridiculously tight pony tail and secured with 10 thousand scrunchies.
that went out with the Spice Girls. They then finish the common female 'Charver Barnett' by using 5 cans of cheap sticky hair spray to turn their fringes into a rock.
- - - - -
2/. They sometimes claim to have gone to Tony & Guy for a hair cut even though everyone around them knows that they are a crappy liar because of 2 things:

a/. Their Dole money won't cover a hair cut in that place unless their kids are fed on 9 pence baked beans out of the tin.. AGAIN.

b/. Their hair looks like they used the bathroom bleach on it religiously everyday for the past year. It resembles the straw from Farmer Briggs field that they walk past on their way to the Post Office to cash in their Dole Giros.
- - - - -
3/. As flat as a 5 year old's chest with nasty cheap highlights in.. Clearly they wait until they acquire a little sun and then drench their hair with lemon juice and wait for the awful Halloween horror effect to set in.
- - - - -
Female Chav's have adopted the habit of getting Medusa's (a kind of lip piercing) only instead of wearing nice little silver balls they think it looks attractive to wear whopping great faux gold ones that look like nasty spots pussing.
Of course they have to put up any spots/zits they receive as Boots the Chemist finally wised up to bottles of Oxy going missing and finally added store alarms.
They qualify for free things like achne specialist stuff but the doctors got so tired of the constant visits from the 18 year old mother with 5 children that they got kicked off the panel.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Male Chavs:

Usually find it 'cool' and 'hard' to wear a small gold hoop in their ear or sometimes a small 'blinging' diamond.
They wear huge, thick fake gold chains as if trying to pull off that 'Mr T' look.
They too, are fond of wearing tracksuits like their female counter-parts only it is of major significance that the sport name logo or trade mark is showing to demonstrate to OTHER Chav's how much of their 'well ace' Dole was spent this month.
- - - - -
Their hair is usually one of two styles:

1/. The classic skin head 'I'm well hard' look.. Sometimes sporting some kind of bizarre shaven lines in random patterns forming their favourite football team or the Addias symbol etc..
- - - - -
2/. Short and with lot's of 45 pence gel spiking it up.
- - - - -
Male Chav's like to adorn themselves with anything that they think might have the ability to make them look toughened.
A fine example of this is the way they tilt their caps (usually burberry) to a high angle as they believe this increases their style of trying to be obdurate.
It actually just makes them look like a twat although they are too dense to see this.
They are very competitive in the world of racing other Chav's in seeing who can keep their trainers in the most immaculate 'Snow White' condition, or who can show the most Adidas stripes.
It is of uber importance that their tracky bottoms are tucked into their socks as some kind of social trade mark of acceptance within the Chav mainstream.
You will usually hear them say something a long the lines of "Wot da fook u lukin at" and "Ya fookin startin? I wil bang yaz out innit"
This normally translates to "Excuse me friend, but are your eyes appearing in my general direction? I would very much like you to avert them as I am terribly afraid of anything 'different'.." and "Although you have actually said nothing, I perceive a slight movement from your head as a signal for me to open my mouth and utter wasteful words upon you. I will not actually physically assault you myself, what I actually mean is I will round up 10 of my cretinous buddies and I will let them intimidate you and do my donkey work for me".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So yes, I conclude that the 'Chav' is just an uninformed, unintellectual waste of human life.
They continue to produce more offspring which will grow up to be as simple-minded as the previous futile generation. They will grow to be Dole fodder or if they're lucky.. Maybe acquire work in a fast food place. FOREVER.
Their aspirations and dreams consist only of purchasing the next ugly gold chain from the market or buying more cigarettes from the local corner shop.

They cost us time, tax and tears yet do not show any thanks except only to waste more of our time and so-forth. Anything that is remotely 'different' to them or considered as being a 'minority' is automatically WRONG in their eyes.
They are ignorant and close-minded because they lack the capacity to understand anything else beyond their own moronic world.

They are NOTHING.

..End..
by PeggyLuXXX January 25, 2007

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Something crap & nasty. The worst bit of the lot. The scaffy side.
Liam: "Hey, are we gonna put up this tent then or what?"

Linzi: "Sure.. But I am sleeping in the middle!"

Luke: "Cool.. I will sleep next to you and Liam can sleep on the other side then."

Elliot: "Oh, so where do I sleep then?"

Luke & Liam: "You get the scrag end, down by our feet."

..End..
by PeggyLuXXX January 21, 2007

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Something crap & nasty. The worst bit of the lot. The scaffy side.
Liam: "Hey, are we gonna put up this tent then or what?"

Linzi: "Sure.. But I am sleeping in the middle!"

Luke: "Cool.. I will sleep next to you and Liam can sleep on the other side then."

Elliot: "Oh, so where do I sleep then?"

Luke & Liam: "You get the scrag-end down by our feet."
by PeggyLuXXX June 10, 2007

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When something appears to have been created or given detail to in a tightwad manner. Scrimping or being stingy. Something very poor in amount or lack of detail.
Orphan Boy: "Please Sir, please may I have some supper?"

Master: "NO BOY! Why should you receive anything????"

Orphan Boy: "I need food for I am hungry & I have completed all of my chores!"

Master: "Hmm.. Very well. You may have ONE small portion of Gruel!!!"

Orphan Boy: "Err.. Master that is really scaffy as I was rather hoping for the Lobster & Caviar!"

..Example 2..

Linzi: "Hey, do you like my new chair?"

Elliot: "No way! It's a bit scaffy! Look at the way it has been made! It resembles an 8 year old's wood shop skills!" Oh.. And if that is oak then I will bottle up my farts & go deep-sea diving breathing nothing but my ass gas!"
by PeggyLuXXX June 10, 2007

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A person that can explode at any given moment, one minute everything can be super-duper and their company that of something wonderful and the next they are loathsome. They are very volatile and often the hothead. I know this how? I am describing me.
Joe Bloggs: "Hey come on wake up its 7 AM I am up so get your lazy ass out of bed"

Temperamental person: "GET THE $#%! OUT OF MY $#%!ing ROOM YOU STUPID $#%!"

..A while later..

Joe Bloggs: "Oh so you have finally emerged then and are you all right now?"

Temperamental person: "Huh, what you on about? I have always been fine what's for breakfast?"

Joe Bloggs: "Err your little going off on one?"

Temperamental person: "Yeah well, you shouldn't disturb my morning time then should you luv!"

Joe Bloggs: "Well YOU should be up and not sleeping the morn away!"

Temperamental person: "$#%! OFF YOU STUPID PIECE OF $#%!.. I AM NOT YOU SO STOP INTERFERING THE $#%! IN MY $#%!ing life!!!"

..End..
by PeggyLuXXX January 21, 2007

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