beard law

The one who has the bigger beard has the right of way.

The smaller beard, or one with no beard (also known as a "boy" not a man) must yield to the larger beard!

A man (bearded) and a boy (the un-bearded) walk up to a door at the same time,

Boy: excuse me sir!
Man: thank you (walks ahead of him in bearded glory)
Boys wife: what just happened?
Boy: it's beard law... I had to yield!

by MURF September 15, 2013

Tactical Beard

Facial hair expertly grown to aid soldiers in combat zones throughout the world.

"Dude I think something latched onto your face while you were in Afghanistan."
"No man, it's my tactical beard. I took out an entire armed enemy unit with this thing."

by DKAY April 10, 2013

Seneca Crane's beard

A beard that is legend in Panem. It beats all other beards, and The Hunger Games fandom fangirls over in constantly. Everyone wishes they were as crispy as Seneca's beard. He's livin' it up.

"Dude, did you see Seneca Crane's beard?"
"Yeah, I fangirled over that so hard that I lost my crispness."

by theavox December 16, 2011

beard food

Beard food is food that is embedded in one’s beard while eating unbeknownst to the eater

Dude! Did you eat tacos for lunch? You have some beard food in your whiskers. Are you saving it for later?

by Riley Bear May 12, 2020

Cigarette Beard

Achieving this attractive facial feature is usually only acquired by some of the most loathsome trailer trash the world has ever seen. Having a large grouping of cigarette burns around the facial hair area due to the smoker falling asleep while smoking laying down and causing severe burns in the shape of a beard and mustache after many painful years of waking up to find yet another burn for the beard..Many styles are known to exist.

Hillbilly Bob fell asleep that night with yet another cigarette in his mouth.The hum of the exhaust fan drown out his screams when he awoke to the smell of burning flesh and nicotine in the air..Luckily for him the burn filled in a spot in his hard earned cigarette beard.

by ogdemigod May 3, 2013

Recession Beard

A beard grown after being laid off, due to the lack of need to maintain a certain caliber of appearance. Most commonly found during recession, or other forms of economic depression, when jobs are lost en masse. The loss of job makes the unemployed male down in the dumps, and the laziness makes him less likely to shave.

Tom: I lost my job at the auto plant a few weeks ago.
Bill: So, that would explain that scrappy thing on your jaw.
Tom: Yeah, it's my Recession Beard. Is it really that scrappy?

by Adumbration December 22, 2008

Beardcicle

Icicles attached to a manly beard. They may even swing to and fro depending upon the size of the beardcicle, the length of the beard hair, wind velocity, and level of activity.

Oftentimes formed from a combination of perspiration, condensation of exhaled breath, and sleet/snow, and extremely low ambient temperatures and/or high wind. Beardcicles may require physical exertion to acquire such as, but not limited to: snowshoeing, chopping firewood, running, cross country skiing, et cetera.

After chopping and stacking three cords of Oak firewood during the 5°F snowstorm, Octavius decided to go snowshoeing during which his beardcicles swung together clinking like empty beer mugs as he moved.

by ImperialFleet1 February 16, 2015