orgasmic attack 

When you have a random orgasm.

Did you see Stacy have an orgasmic attack on Saturday

orgasmic attack by Fyufl December 10, 2017

Minor Attracted Person 

Otherwise known as a pedophile, but a nicer way of saying it, it's been made so clean of any filth actually associated with the term that a good handful of Tumblr users are actually not disgusted by them, just because the term sounds so much nicer like this.

"New headcanon: D.Va, Lucio, and McCree are all MAPs." MAP being short for Minor Attracted Person.

Minor Attracted Person by Your friendly old Spetznaz vet October 27, 2017

wank attack

When suddenly you get horny for no reason and your hands go down your pants and you wank by pure instinct.

His hands started to shake, and then dove down his pants. "Oh shit, I'm having a wank attack!" he wailed.

wank attack by wankwad23 May 15, 2004

attorney 

A person who, after at least three years of intense, post-graduate studies, must pass a very difficult proficiency exam (the bar exam) in most states in order to do someting as simple as defend a person against a DWI charge. Of course, this moron that is charged with the DWI is probably the same person who wrote the definition of attorney as "assmonkey," because this human stain has no idea (and only subscribes to juvenile/comedic groupthink) what most attorneys go through to be zealous advocates of their clients.

Naturally, there are bad attorneys, just as all priests don't molest little boys. There are mechanisms in place to ensure that even attorneys accused of misconduct are given the same fair tribunal that everyone else is entitled to before being suspended or disbarred.

Attorneys are some of the most powerful people in the nation: they can defend citizens to prevent them losing their property, liberty, and even their very lives. Some of the more prominent attorneys in the United States were its founding fathers. Others fought for the emancipation of slaves, voting rights for women and minorities, desegregation of public schools and facilities, and the very freedom to call them assmonkeys. Before opening your ignorant mouth in the future and engaging in a "lawyer joke," consider where the nation would be without them. For better or worse, we would not be a civilized society without them.

This definition applies primarily to United States attorneys, and not so much to my learned brethren across the pond, namely barristers and solicitors.

John: "What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?"

Jeff: "I don't know."

John: "One is a bottom-feeder, and the other is a catfish."

Jeff: "You are an ignorant idiot worthy of my wrath, but before I unleash it, go to www.urbandictionary.com and educate yourself on what attorneys really are, fucktard."

attorney by BigZaccyStyle July 19, 2006

Attack of the clones 

When a movie has such bad writing that you stop listening to the movie and start making up the dialogue in your head. A reference to the second movie in the star wars prequel trilogy, which had writing just as bad as phantom menace but suffered more because George Lucas was stupid enough to try to write romance scenes.

Anakin: Your skin is soft. Not like sand. Sand is hard and unpleasant to be around. Not like your skin.

Guy: Fuck it, this thing's an attack of the clones. Lucky I brought ear plugs.

Anakin in that guy's head: Wow, I can't believe how lame I am right now. I wish it could be several years later. I'll be such a bamf then. Not like sand at all.

Attack of the clones by smpoza February 13, 2009

Attainable Girl Syndrome

When a guy assumes that he can 'get' a particular real life girl either to date or have sex with because he feels what he has going for him: looks, personality, status, money, job, degree, etc., are enough to impress the girl into doing so. But the problem is that girls want to 'date up', not 'date same' and definitely not 'date down', so girls that most guys think are realistically attainable to them, are not.

Girl #1: JP wants me, he keeps texting me to hang out.

Girl #2: That would be dating down girl, don't do it.

Girl #3: I think he's suffering from AGS

Girl #1 and #2: AGS?

Girl #3: Attainable Girl Syndrome!

Girl #1: Well as long as that mean he's delusional.

Girl #2: Most guys are!

Attainable Girl Syndrome by sarasplayroom.com December 2, 2009