jake
one of the lamest names ever, if your name is jake you will not go anywhere in life... and inface you are proberly fat and gay. give up now as it will just be a waste of time if you don't
jake by buki is gay April 4, 2010
Jake
Jake by youll_never_know January 20, 2009
Related Words
jake • Jake Paul • jake pauler • jaked • jakey • jake gyllenhaal • jake from state farm • Jakeing • Jakeb • Jakers
Jake
jay-kuh N. A Jake is a common, intangible creature that normally thrives in upper middle-class suburbia.
Jakes are essentially synonymous with Chads, much like Craigs. Jakes are annoyingly white, spoiled, frat-boy types who live off their parent’s money and have never worked a day in their lives. They are raging douche faggots who wear nothing but Abercrombie & Fitch popped collar shirts, mesh trucker hats and too much hair gel. Personality-wise, they're hugely insensitive, stubborn, selfish and emotionally retarded, much like prepubescent 12-year old boys whose testicles have yet to drop. Even though they may act like stereotypical "nice guys,” when you first meet them, this is just a facade. A Jake lacks the ability to care for those other than himself.
The main difference between Jakes and Chads is that while Chads go out of their way to be massive cockblocks and actually do have sex with women, Jakes are usually sexually repressed, pussified fuck bags who have no game whatsoever and merely give the impression that they're getting laid on a regular basis. Do not be fooled, for the only action a Jake is getting is from his own hand, or in desperate cases, from raping small dogs and other household pets.
It is universally accepted that a Jake cannot be made a man, and that any woman hoping to land one will have to instead settle for making a Jake their bitch. Jakes fail at life, women, the internet and Chuck Norris jokes, and should generally be avoided at all costs.
Jakes are essentially synonymous with Chads, much like Craigs. Jakes are annoyingly white, spoiled, frat-boy types who live off their parent’s money and have never worked a day in their lives. They are raging douche faggots who wear nothing but Abercrombie & Fitch popped collar shirts, mesh trucker hats and too much hair gel. Personality-wise, they're hugely insensitive, stubborn, selfish and emotionally retarded, much like prepubescent 12-year old boys whose testicles have yet to drop. Even though they may act like stereotypical "nice guys,” when you first meet them, this is just a facade. A Jake lacks the ability to care for those other than himself.
The main difference between Jakes and Chads is that while Chads go out of their way to be massive cockblocks and actually do have sex with women, Jakes are usually sexually repressed, pussified fuck bags who have no game whatsoever and merely give the impression that they're getting laid on a regular basis. Do not be fooled, for the only action a Jake is getting is from his own hand, or in desperate cases, from raping small dogs and other household pets.
It is universally accepted that a Jake cannot be made a man, and that any woman hoping to land one will have to instead settle for making a Jake their bitch. Jakes fail at life, women, the internet and Chuck Norris jokes, and should generally be avoided at all costs.
"Dude, did you seriously just laugh at that girl after she told you she was anally raped fifteen consecutive times by Steve Buscemi? You are the biggest Jake I've ever met."
Girl: Hey, you're kind of cute. What's your name?
Jake: 'Sup, I'm Jake.
Girl: God, you are such an asshole. I hate you, goodbye.
Jake: I don't get it. What did I do?
Craig: It's because you said you're Jake.
Jake: So?
Craig: Everyone knows Jake is a douche. You should have said you were me.
Girl: Hey, you're kind of cute. What's your name?
Jake: 'Sup, I'm Jake.
Girl: God, you are such an asshole. I hate you, goodbye.
Jake: I don't get it. What did I do?
Craig: It's because you said you're Jake.
Jake: So?
Craig: Everyone knows Jake is a douche. You should have said you were me.
Jake by omgliekwtflol November 2, 2009
jake
jake by Blake Sutton July 15, 2008
Jake
(verb)To accidentally spill drinks all over yourself, giving you the appearance of someone who has pissed their pants and or sweated profusely.
Jake by M. Pfeifer, G-wol September 26, 2006