Russian Jesus

The man who walked on tanks

Turned water into Vodka

Gave children trench coats

His mom was a mob boss

His dad was a whore

Did you hear about Russian Jesus? He is GOD

by Mr. Jesus.com March 23, 2022

jesus nap

a Jesus nap is where you feel like you're gonna die from whatever you ate and you just have to sleep for the salvation of those around you.

After a nice brunch, complete with mimosas, I think it's time for a Jesus Nap.

by jpeg1024 April 5, 2015

Green Jesus

Description for some bomb ass weed that has you seeing the Matrix...

'Chilling at home, playing Borderlands, stoned off my ass on that Green Jesus...'

by otismakesmusic March 10, 2023

Jesus's spizzim

When you jizz with no control, even though she said she’s not on birth control.

Yo dude, I just Jesus's spizzim , she did tell me she’s not on birth control; I just couldn’t help it.

by Kachowism August 10, 2024

Jesus H. Christ

God.

"I am God."
- Jesus H. Christ

by Andrew Whiteingale W w00t February 26, 2025

Jesus Hippos

Hippos that can walk on water.

I saw some jesus hippos walking around in the Atlantic ocean.

by El Gaupo April 26, 2023

jesus

That one guy that doesn't exist lol

religious guy; Hey be respectful, Jesus exist
Atheist; sure, so Santa exists too haha
Religious guy again: you're going to die because God exist, and you'll regret of saying this, you're going to hell.

Atheist: uh-

Religious guy: Anyways remember that God loves everyone, send you blesses 😍🤗✝️

by whoisalex? November 6, 2021