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Jesus's bitch 

A woman who freely gives men blow jobs and then in her shame and guilt, yells it out in public places to justify her crazy basic bitch behavior.
Jesus's bitch almost got me caught up with my wife last night at the bar.
Jesus's bitch by I'm not your wife January 17, 2017

Jesus's Knees 

The holiest and most sexy knees you will ever see. They are powerful enough to kill half the universe if Jesus touches them together.
Person: "Oh my god, have you seen Jesus's Knees?"
Other Person: "No...?"
Jesus: "Hey look at my Knees!"
Both People: *Faints

Jesus's fuck thang 

The organ that Jesus used to fuck all those bitches. That's why there are so many Christians in the world.
Jesus wipped out Jesus's fuck thang so much, even the son of god got chaffed.

Jesus's Love 

A drug comprised of Acid and THC oil frozen with a piece of sheep's heart in the middle representing the sacrifice of the Lamb of God (Made in Ice Trays and crushed to be eaten).
Guy: Yo bro can I get some of that Jesus's Love?

Plug: Yeah dude it's 50 a piece you'll be tripping for weeks.
Jesus's Love by Bac Helor June 6, 2018

Jesus's Army 

Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.

Jesus's spizzim 

When you jizz with no control, even though she said she’s not on birth control.
Yo dude, I just Jesus's spizzim , she did tell me she’s not on birth control; I just couldn’t help it.
Jesus's spizzim by Kachowism August 10, 2024