Handruff

The bits of dead skin shed when a person bites their nails.

Aaron bit his nails constantly, so much so that a sprinkling of handruff gathered on his chest.

by Bullbullbalabil April 18, 2017

shit handed

The result of seated ass wiping, especially when combined with a crumpling paper strategy, as opposed to the equally popular fold, wipe and release or civilised method. Wiping done seated with a tilt and using the crumple method is dangerous, unsteady and frowned upon. Thus, it often results in shit residue reaching the hand, fingers, or cuff.

My loud ass boss came into the bathroom to piss and moan, so i hunkered and opted for the seated wipe and crumpling of paper so as not to draw his attention. While leaning to my left i momentarily lost my balance and bearings and inadvertently shit handed myself. I was not pleased, as i had recently eaten corn.

by mstephenfeeley December 26, 2007

one handed phone call

A phone call made whilst masturbating.

Pat O'Brien is a big fan of making one handed phone calls.

by pseudonymkiller July 28, 2009

Ham handlers

The hand like hooves of an obese person. Often including an opposable digit. To aid in the handling of hams, or the operation of mobility scooters.

Look at at the ham handlers on that! She really looks like she knows how to handle a ham.

by Escobar Marineros August 27, 2020

Dry Handed

When someone comes out of the bathroom and sees you for the first time of the night, feels the need to be polite and shakes your hand. The problem is it's completey dry. It should still be slightly wet from the washing process. You just got dry handed!

It was a tough night at work. I hung out too close to the the restroom and got dry handed three times. Thank God I brought my Purell.

by Orange Mullet January 13, 2007

left-handed smoke bender

A fictional device that you send a new member of your group (usually a scout group) to borrow from another group as a way to get rid of the new member for a while or as a hazing task.

Oops! We forgot to bring our left-handed smoke bender! Can you go around camp and see if you can borrow one for us?

by Xerxy April 28, 2006

handerson pooper

Masturbating with one hand and simultaneously using the other hand to strategically stick a finger in your butthole.

Was sleepy in class so I went home and performed a Handerson Pooper before my nap.

by JHollier5 January 23, 2016