This guy who was just trying to make a come up with his fire ass mixtape about being nice to people and not banging your neighbor's wife.
Ceasar was in studio at the time and was selling his wimpy ass mixes by the thousands, meanwhile no body listened to Jesus' mixtape and he got nailed to a tree because his poppin' beats just weren't up to par for the times.
After he died on the tree and was buried, he decided his career wasn't over and got up out of his tomb and started dropping fire beats again. But no one listened still, and he decided to just leave and go back to heaven where his mixes were appreciated.
He eventually got a fan club, but they've pretty much ruined his music for the rest of the us real fans ( S/O to my homies at Westboro Baptist for that )...
Nowadays there's this goat banging rival fan group of a DJ called Allah, who refuse to get with Jesus' beats, so they've started a clan war with the Jesus fans and it's getting fierce.
Ceasar was in studio at the time and was selling his wimpy ass mixes by the thousands, meanwhile no body listened to Jesus' mixtape and he got nailed to a tree because his poppin' beats just weren't up to par for the times.
After he died on the tree and was buried, he decided his career wasn't over and got up out of his tomb and started dropping fire beats again. But no one listened still, and he decided to just leave and go back to heaven where his mixes were appreciated.
He eventually got a fan club, but they've pretty much ruined his music for the rest of the us real fans ( S/O to my homies at Westboro Baptist for that )...
Nowadays there's this goat banging rival fan group of a DJ called Allah, who refuse to get with Jesus' beats, so they've started a clan war with the Jesus fans and it's getting fierce.
Yo! Look at Jesus dropping those fire beats!
beats mixtape goat fucker jesus fan club fire ass beats Westboro Baptist Church
beats mixtape goat fucker jesus fan club fire ass beats Westboro Baptist Church
by theonlycleanchipotlebathroom August 29, 2015
by annsthemann November 20, 2014
The man that made up the biggest fairy tell because his mother was a slut and cheated on her husband but did not want to be caught. But yet to this day you fucking dumb asses can’t see that it’s all fake.
by Creeper king July 09, 2019
Jesus of Nazareth was a Jewish theologian who taught (among other things) an exciting and sophisticated view of the afterlife and a somewhat unusual theological perspective that God is love. His social and moral teachings (especially those on women) were quite progressive, and some of his teaching was so heterodox that he was considered a false prophet and a corrupter of the Jewish faith by the Sanhedrin.
Most Biblical scholars agree that the one gospel which suggests trinitarianism (the belief that God is three parts yet one- Father, Son and Holy Spirit), the Gospel of John, was the latest of the Gospels. It was heavily influenced by the Gnostics, a branch of early Christianity which has come to gain a bad reputation by most Christian sects, but one which suggested that Jesus was at least in a sense divine.
In the other Gospels Jesus is seen as human, though the Son of God, born of a virginal conception. He says nothing about being God himself, about worshiping him, or about changing Jewish laws like kosher and circumcision (being a Jew, Jesus was circumcised and followed kosher law himself), and the notion that Jesus himself founded an official church (much less the Catholic church) is nigh laughable.
Jesus was executed in the 1st Century A.D. by the Roman government in Israel. Jesus of Nazareth has been dead for over 2000 years, he's not coming back, and he's definitely not the God who created the world; it's questionable he even claimed that himself.
Most Biblical scholars agree that the one gospel which suggests trinitarianism (the belief that God is three parts yet one- Father, Son and Holy Spirit), the Gospel of John, was the latest of the Gospels. It was heavily influenced by the Gnostics, a branch of early Christianity which has come to gain a bad reputation by most Christian sects, but one which suggested that Jesus was at least in a sense divine.
In the other Gospels Jesus is seen as human, though the Son of God, born of a virginal conception. He says nothing about being God himself, about worshiping him, or about changing Jewish laws like kosher and circumcision (being a Jew, Jesus was circumcised and followed kosher law himself), and the notion that Jesus himself founded an official church (much less the Catholic church) is nigh laughable.
Jesus was executed in the 1st Century A.D. by the Roman government in Israel. Jesus of Nazareth has been dead for over 2000 years, he's not coming back, and he's definitely not the God who created the world; it's questionable he even claimed that himself.
Jesus: I come to fulfill the law, not to abolish it.
Christian: OK guys! No more Torah, no more kosher law, no more fasting and only one hour of worship a week! Praise Jesus!
Christian: OK guys! No more Torah, no more kosher law, no more fasting and only one hour of worship a week! Praise Jesus!
by A Former Christian December 27, 2011
Oh Jesus your so attractive.
by Bob1212121212121 December 08, 2017
A mythical person just as real as the lockness monster, the boogie man, Pamela Anderson's boobs and the possibility of you having a 13inch penis
by Brodie DCLXVI July 11, 2008
Some guy who everyone thinks was cool who was apparently the messiah and could do voodoo. We all know Ras' Tafari is the messiah! jesus christ you idiots!!!
by Jon is beasto August 12, 2009