a jesus 

Something really amazing that someone did.

Boy: "I got 98% on that test about the economic revolution in southern Russia during the time of Stalin's rule, even though it was supposedly really hard and everyone was freaking out about it, especially that one girl with the really ugly hair. Christ, she's crazy."

Boy 2: "Oh shit man! That's a jesus right there!"

a jesus by Awoo September 22, 2006

white jesus 

high-quality hooch, shine, moonshine, or homemade booze.

Dude, Crow Jane makes the best white jesus in the whole Ukelore Valley.

white jesus by Jaggo March 23, 2004

black jesus 

man who, after a 2 day binder of heavy drinking, stepped up to his trash can pulpit and gave the famous "jesus was a black man" speech

www.templeofblackjesus.com

black jesus by austin July 27, 2004

Lord Jesus Christ 

-The son of God who died on the cross so that everyone's sins could washed away.
-Was the only human being to ever walk the earth without giving in to sin. The rest of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
-Loves us so much even though we continue to sin and disregard the ten commandments.
-in this day and age, the world and all its material possessions + the devil blind us from the truth!
-the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

When atheists or non-Christians are on their deathbeds, they will realise then that the Lord Jesus Christ is real and that he is the way/truth and life.

Dear Lord Jesus Christ,
Thankyou for dying on the cross for us!
Please forgive the sins that we have committed and help us to forgive those who have sinned against us.
In Jesus wonderful name we pray,
Amen.

Lord Jesus Christ by God-bless-you April 18, 2007

you need jesus 

you need jesus is the name of a local rug installer

tired of that hard wood flooring raising the cost of insulation you need jesus can help 666 777 0909

you need jesus by sanxity July 2, 2019

for the love of hopscotching jesus 

a phrase used to replace the word ridiculous when the situation or topic is beyond ridiculous and ridonkulous

So right when I was about to cum I pulled out and donkey punched her.

..For the love of hopscotching jesus..really?

for the love of hopscotching jesus by mjbj3189 January 24, 2010

homeless jesus

exactly what it says...homeless Jesus. God kicked him out after a wild party. Yes, there IS a story. Currently, it isn't posted online. However, that will change.

The bible was propaganda. Homeless Jesus is my homeboy.

homeless jesus by Xns May 13, 2006