I’m tired

‘I’m tired’ is a phrase that you have most certainly used at least once. ‘I’m tired’ is the universal excuse for anything you do since it doesn’t reveal how you feel in intricacy but is still the truth.

(Side note, you’re probably Guy 2)

Guy 1: ‘Are you ok?’
Guy 2: ‘I’m tired.’

Guy 3: ‘Why didn’t you do your work?’
Guy 2: ‘I’m tired.’

Guy 4: ‘Why didn’t you tell me earlier?’
Guy 2: ‘I’m tired’

I’m tired by limeboiz December 31, 2020

I just farted 

What you say when you’re cooking and someone walks into the kitchen saying “Mmmmm.... it smells so good in here!”

As I slave away at the stove, cooking dinner for my party guests, one of my buddies wives says Mmmmmm... it smells so good in here! My response: I just farted.

I just farted by goodlord! January 5, 2021

I-Mail 

"Idiot Mail" or the endless amount of ridiculous and inane email one receives from idiots all day long, especially at work or in a corporate context.

"I just got a bunch of I-mails from that idiot in marketing" or "why does corporate insist on I-mailing us this crap all day long?"

I-Mail by hadabadday June 15, 2009

I hate myself 

When you do something mildly stupid or a minor inconvenience occurs
Synonyms:
I want to kill myself

Teen 1: *Drops pencil* I hate myself

I hate myself by Okboomer42069 November 9, 2019

i shat myself 

I shat myself is an even more extraordinary sentence for I shit my pants, you don’t want to go around saying “I shit my pants” but instead you could say “ I shat myself” you’ll be the coolest kid at school.

Nessa Berret: i shat myself

Josh Richard: I thought you sharted

i shat myself by idk what my name is lol November 12, 2020

I can't get behind that 

Expresses refusal to support, condone, or participate in a certain activity or idea due to subject's lameness, stupidity, or conflict with personal beliefs.

William Shatner: What about those men who say 'do as I do and believe in what I say for your own good, or I'll kill you'? I can't get behind that!

I can't get behind that by Alisa September 30, 2005

I'm A Player 

A great song from Oakland Rapper Too $hort.

It describes the life of many people out there.

You see I made up my mind when I was seventeen,
I ain with no marriage and a wedding ring,
I be a player fo life so wheres my wife,
Probably at the rehab stuck on the pipe,
cause she must be smokin and Im not jokin
Too short baby comin straight from oakland,
Got way mo bitches than I ever need,
I put that on a big fat bag of weed,

"Cause I'm a player..." Too Short

I'm A Player by 805 Beaner October 17, 2009