What you say when you're in the middle of a story and realize no one's listening.
I'm sitting at the dinner table, telling my girlfriends family about how we met. As I'm getting to the funny part, i realize no one's listening, so i abruptly finish with "and then i fucked her up the ass!"
When your woman's being a dick
You: Hey sweetie, let's go on a date tonight.
Her: I'm still mad at you for not helping me with the dishes last night...
You: Please don't be a dinklet!
Big Butt Syndrome
Bro1: Hey, check out that hottie
Bro2: Nice rack, but she's got BBS....
Bro1: Yea, bummer! Would u still nail her though?
Bro2: Fuck ya!!!
Not being able to fart when the coast is clear.
You're at a social gathering and have to fart really bad, so you excuse yourself and walk to the bathroom. But now you can't let it out, no matter how hard you push. Damn fart block!
Taking a dump after two days of not shitting
I couldn't take my morning dump because some bathroom stalker walked up to my stall close enough that his shoes were in my space. Next day i had an enormous shit... double duty baby! Now i gotta find that stalker and kick his ass...
When someone is being a huge dick
You're out at a sporting event with like five of your buddies. Four of us have bought at least one or more rounds of beers for everyone. It's getting close to the end of the game, and there's that one dinkasaurus who hasn't bought any beers, yet has had no problems drinking all the free beer. He think's he's gotten away with being a cheap ass motherfucker, but everyone in the group has noticed.
You, talking to a couple in the group: "Hey, did you notice dickless didn't buy any beers?
Response: "Yeah... what a fucking dinkasaurus!"
Standing and peeing directly in the water with the door open
You've got some bros over and a few hotties, and as you're trying to impress the hotties, one of the bros goes to the bathroom and proceeds to pee loudly in toilet bowl with door open. He doesn't even try to aim on the porcelain, but goes directly in the water... "Really bro? Now's not the time to give us your pee performance!"