pretzel crunch

when a guy pushes your legs behind your head while having sex and proceeds to "crunch" you while putting all of his body weight on you. pain is usually associated with this position.

"How was your night Kelly?"
"John pretzel crunched me so hard, I couldn't breathe."

by pretzelmaker1234 November 20, 2015

Pronz

A nicer way to say porn.

OH NO! You deleted my sexy PRONZ.

I watch pronz while useing my mastabatory system.

by kingkong1212 April 12, 2009

pretzil

The douchebag's way of spelling, and saying, pretzel.

"I LOVE PRETZILS!!"

by Himynameisinexplicable April 22, 2014

pretzel stamp

Like a mushroom stamp, but after you have anal sex and have the poopy dick you slap your poopycock on her face.

"Im gonna pretzel stamp that ho"

"Bitch got my dick all poopy, so I pretzel stamped her face"

by screamingdeal October 31, 2014

Pritzker

A fat lying pos

I met Martha at Dennys last night. I had a short conversation with her and realized she's nothing but a Pritzker

by Skinny pos June 3, 2021

24 Protected

When a guy is protected 24 7 by either always wearing a condom or always carrying one in his wallet!

Chad : I want some fucky take off your clothes right now!
Kiersten : I would but Kmart's closed and we don't have any condoms sorry!
Chad: No worries I'm 24 Protected let's get fuckin!!
Kiersten : Ohh! Whip out that big cock of your's and stick it in!
Chad: Nice!!!

by SlopNChop December 11, 2016

Pretzyl

That really awesome close friend that you have shitloads of stuff in common with. She could be your soulmate or the girl of your dreams. You would LOVE to go out with but you're best friend's already going out with her.

Person 1: Hey, why don't you ask *insert girl's name* out?

Person 2: I would, but she's already going out with *insert best friend's name*.. she's a pretzyl.

Person 1: haha. shame on you bitch!

Person 2: *kills himself by slitting throat with spade*

Person 1: O.O

by CerbeRAPE September 25, 2011