old slang term for sexual relations.
I write separately only because it would be a shame to not quote Shakespeare on this one.
I write separately only because it would be a shame to not quote Shakespeare on this one.
Hamlet: Lady, shall I lie in your lap?
Ophelia: No, my lord.
Hamlet: I mean my head upon your lap.
Ophelia: Aye, my lord.
Hamlet: Or did you think I meant country matters?
Ophelia: I think nothing, my lord.
Hamlet: That's a fair thought, to lie between maid's legs.
Ophelia: No, my lord.
Hamlet: I mean my head upon your lap.
Ophelia: Aye, my lord.
Hamlet: Or did you think I meant country matters?
Ophelia: I think nothing, my lord.
Hamlet: That's a fair thought, to lie between maid's legs.
by cogitheum@mac.com February 22, 2009
Get the country matters mug.To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Did you see that? Barney totally just pulled off The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. He's bringing the girl up to his room right now!
by lilypotter56 April 19, 2011
Get the The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn mug.Me- "Ugh I ship Mattex so much they're my OTP!"
Other- "What? You ship who?"
Me- "Mattex you know Matt and ALex duh."
Other- "What? You ship who?"
Me- "Mattex you know Matt and ALex duh."
by Kingston's Bitch... November 30, 2013
Get the mattex mug.Het zeggen van dat je iets gaat uitvoeren maar dan dat je het niet doet, en dat het lijkt alsof je het wel doet.
Hey jongens, ik ga vandaag het verslag voor school afmaken en Matthiassen.
Hey jongens, ik ga vandaag doen alsof ik wat doe maar ik ga niks doen.
Hey jongens, ik ga vandaag doen alsof ik wat doe maar ik ga niks doen.
by GeenStrijder January 5, 2018
Get the Matthiassen mug.Trixie Mattel (Brian Furkus) is beloved drag queen from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Now living in WEHO. She appeared on RuPauls Best Friend Race season 7 and All Stars 3, in which she won All Stars 3 (rightfully so). She also has a hit TV show on Viceland with fellow Drag Race alumnus Katya Zamolodchicova. She uses over the top makeup skills to look like a doll.
by katyasfagash June 3, 2018
Get the Trixie Mattel mug.Mattie is a walking goddess.
She can sing, she’s usually an athlete, and she’s incredibly attractive, inside and out.
She may seem as a little bitchy at first, but once you crack the code, she’s super friendly.
But be warned, cracking her code is a very daunting task. She’s very hard to read, like maybe one day she’ll talk to you, but then the next it’s like you’re totally irrelevant.
She’s also very self-deprecating. Make sure to tell her how important and amazing she is. She’ll need it.
Mattie LOVES to argue. She won’t get offended at your opposing opinions; she’ll fight for her own.
Love her. Take care of her. Don’t let her get away.
She can sing, she’s usually an athlete, and she’s incredibly attractive, inside and out.
She may seem as a little bitchy at first, but once you crack the code, she’s super friendly.
But be warned, cracking her code is a very daunting task. She’s very hard to read, like maybe one day she’ll talk to you, but then the next it’s like you’re totally irrelevant.
She’s also very self-deprecating. Make sure to tell her how important and amazing she is. She’ll need it.
Mattie LOVES to argue. She won’t get offended at your opposing opinions; she’ll fight for her own.
Love her. Take care of her. Don’t let her get away.
by yuk0ncornelius January 22, 2018
Get the Mattie mug.A movement to ensure that women continue to wear yoga pants to the amusement of all straight men, bi, and lesbians everywhere
I was driving down the street and I heard some dude yell "black tights matter" at some apple bottomed belles.
by von groovy April 13, 2019
Get the black tights matter mug.