Calm your tits

A phrase we use when a fellow being is: stressed, anxious, freaking out, pissed off, raging, etc.
We can use other phrases such as "calm down", "take a chill pill", "I got chu", "take five", or "take a breather"; but "calm your tits" has the word tits in it and everybody loves tits. So therefore it is right and just to use "calm your tits" when somebody is about to rage.
However, "Calm your tits" is a PG 13 saying. If you are under the age of 13 please use the following:
- "soothe your boobs"
- "de-stress your breasts"
- "undo the calamity that is in your mammaries"
- "adjust your bust before it combusts"

Example #1 (for people above the age of 13)
*couple on phone*
Girlfriend: you liked her fucking instagram photo and rated her a 10 blah blah blah blah unfaithful blah blah ratchet blah blah blah no luv u no mo blah blah heartbrok-
Boyfriend: Babe, calm your tits. I gots you.
Girlfriend: *le sigh*

Example #2 (for people under the age of 13)
Mom: Why is there so many f*cking dishes in the sink Jimmy?! Didnt I tell you to feed the dog?! Where the f*ck is the remote! Make me a coffee and do your chores Jimmy or you're grounded for a month!
Jimmy: Adjust your bust before it

combusts.
*end of discussion*

Example #3
Tyrone: *takes off with Quinelle's weave without consulting*
Quinelle: *screams* Ackrite Tyrone! Dont fucking play around!! Get your ass back here right now!!!
Tyrone: Geez, Quinelle. Calm your tits. I was just playing around b...

Thank you for your time

by Quinelle April 7, 2014

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Calmly

One of the many trigger words for a fan of both the Harry Potter books and movies.

Harry, did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire? Dumbledore asked calmly.

"HARREH DIDJA PUTYER NAME IN DAH GOBLET OF FIYAH???!!!!!" Dumbledore asked calmly.

by KLANCE BECAUSE WHY NOT December 12, 2017

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Chalmation

A Chalmation describes those one of a kind types of people from St. Bernard Parish aka “Da Parish”. We seldom pronounce our “r’s” and always ask “how’s ya mom-n-em doin’?!?!” You eithah from up da road or down da road!! If ya nevah been ta Rocky’s for da veal pawm ya missin’ out. And to touch on the previous definition: where da hell did dat jerkoff come up with Chalmations being nomads?!?! Down heah in Chalmette you won’t find guys anywhere else with a better a tapered fade and a year round perfect tan. As for the ladies the thick highlights and a haircut that screams “Can I speak to the manager?!?!”. It’s home and those same people would punch you and immediately help you.

******NO SUCH THING AS SCATTERED GRAVY********

-Actual Chalmation born and raised 1984

No one in Chalmette ever uses the word Chalmation to refer to themselves.

by ParishRoad July 16, 2018

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