barney
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Barney
A purple and green-spotted dinosaur world famous for being on the self titled pre-k daytime TV show "Barney". His annoying voice oh-so-cheerful disposition and plastered-on smile have charmed kids under 5 for many years now. Fortunatly for the sane population, Barney has lost some of his popularity over the past few years,much to the disappointment of his parental fan-base. With any luck this dancing dino will be an example of pre-k pop-culture gone extict.
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barney
A small-town, provincial putz of a policeman. The name represents "Barney Fife", the bumbling, inept deputy sherfiff from the "Andy Griffith Show." The typical small-town Barney is a doughnut-chomping fat bastard whose only purpose is to write as many speeding tickets and seat belt "safety" violations to out-of-town licence plated cars as humanly possible. This daily pattern continues until the barney has padded his resume sufficiently to move on to a real job far from the provincial putzville which was his first job for a couple of years. The outrageous pattern of excessive ticket-writing also works in the favor of the inbred, corrupt, fuck-headed town officials who reap an obscene profit from the fine largesse. This, in turn, self justifies the continuance of the salary for the Barney. This pattern is particularly effective in towns which are so ridiculously quiet and small that an actual "law enforcement officer" has no substantive reason to be on the public payroll. The next time you are pulled over in some backward Hooterville for driving 4 MPH over the posted limit, remember where your fine money is going.
barney by Frank Klaune April 25, 2005