Saint Paddy's Day

English term for St Patrick's Day, as an Irish person would never say this.

Trump, Saint Paddy's Day isn't spelt with a double "t" you Muppet. And take that stupid cap off. You look like an eejit.

by PokeyD March 10, 2017

paddlepuss

Originally a surfer term. A person who plays in the white water and is afraid to stray from the beach. Can more largely be referred to someone who is afraid to take a risk.

I dare you to eat that centipede, don't be a paddlepuss!

by SallyTheSillySalmon September 19, 2021

Use the Paddles

A phrase often used on people in trouble or requesting help. Unlike conventional phrases, it means that you can't help them, and they're on their own. Coined by a bystander watching a man trying to fight pirates off his paddle boat, but was overpowered.

Usually used in cases when the troubled person has no hope of winning otherwise, or is very likely to fail without outside support.

Soldier: "Sir! The enemy broke through our defenses! We can't hold them off!"
Commander: "USE THE PADDLES!"

Student 1: "Hey, I forgot to study for the test today. Any advice you could give me?"
Student 2: "Well, I guess you have to use the paddles."
Student 1: "Aw, shit."

by AdmiralofShe October 16, 2016

Paddle faster, I hear banjos!

A common exclamation when in or around hillbilly infested areas. Doesn't necessarily need to be used when in a canoe; merely a warning to the other non-hillbillies in the vicinity.

It was a bright and sunny day when my father and I decided to go fishing down by the ol' waterhole. I remember that the seagulls looked like delicate little clouds, fluttering in the breeze. We made our way to our canoe and rowed out, fishing rods in hand and a song in our hearts. As we made our way down to the waterhole, we became aware of an eerie silence. The trees around us swayed to a halt. Then, quietly at first but raising in intensity, we heard the twang of a banjo. My father turned to me, his face colorless as he said "Paddle faster, I hear banjos!"

by Survival Guide May 12, 2010

Plastic Paddy

A Plastic Paddy is someone who claims to be Irish but never actually been to Ireland. Usually these people have a overly romantic view of Ireland. They are surprised when they go to Ireland and discover modern conveniences like shopping centres and WiFi.

They'll often try to claim to be related to a famous Irish king like Brian Boru as if it's something unique even though Brian Boru could potentially have over a million descendants.

They may ask Irish people abroad do they know "Thomas from Cork, or Mary from Kilkenny", as if Ireland is one giant village where everyone knows each other on a first name basis.

They call the Irish language "Gaelic" and often have misspelled tattoos in "Gaelic". It's not uncommon for plastic paddies to mistake elements of Scottish culture with Irish culture such as the wearing of kilts. Calling yourself "Irish" when you have only a modicum of Irish heritage may be way trying to justify your alcoholicism or enhancing your chances of becoming US president.

"That guy is such a plastic paddy, he kept talking to me about his families kilt pattern and I hadn't a fucking clue what he was talking about"

by IMLOOKINGINYOURDOOR October 13, 2021

Shoulder Padding

When two friends gently rest their cocks(2) and balls(4) upon the shoulder of a roommate's girlfriend. She must gaze foward at all times as for it not to be constituted as cheating.

I am appalled that Mike and Mike were "Shoulder Padding" Amber last night, exclaimed Marc.

Yeah man, talk about a low blow on her part.

by Kaaron Rodgers January 22, 2011

Paddle Hand

An individual's preferred and dominant hand used for male or female masturbation.

My left hand is my paddle hand.

Hey braaaahhh. How's your mom's paddle hand.

Carl can't beat off for a while cause he broke his paddle hand.

by Eaton Holgoode April 13, 2017