A person with an extreamly large head that is shaped like a rectangle or square. Can often be mistaken for a large mallet that is used to tenderise meat. These people will always be the social retard of every event they attend. They don't understand the concept of socialicing. If insulted they will often question you about it the next day on MSN or AIM.
Man 1: Why is the sun actually hitting my face today?
Man 2: It's because Eric and his mallet head are missing today
Man 2: It's because Eric and his mallet head are missing today
by Chesstastic June 29, 2007
When it's wider around than it is long. As this prevents actual penetration from happening it forces the owner to pound around in the general vicinity of his target, hence the name mallet dick.
by #Splashback March 19, 2015
Word Association Game, Which each player must say a related word to one that was previously just said. The person who pauses or cant think of a word gets a bash around the head, often with a heavey object eg. a book.
The Game, Moisty's Mallet
EG.
Jack:'Football'
John:'Sport'
Jack:'Basket Ball'
John:'Net'
Jack:'Internet'
John:'Porn'
EG.
Jack:'Football'
John:'Sport'
Jack:'Basket Ball'
John:'Net'
Jack:'Internet'
John:'Porn'
by Cammers September 22, 2008
Variation of "Asshammer". Somebody who exists purely to pound on ass (see "malletize"). Usually a gay man or somebody who is suspected of being gay.
by C2Y July 18, 2005
When a man fake tans his penis resulting in it looking like a rusty mallet. (alternative definition: A heavy hammer object left out in the rain.)
by Poodefiner June 29, 2014
Get the timmy mallet mug.
He is a mallet head; someone who couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.
by T. G. Moore October 27, 2006