right lane jackass

Right lane jackass (n): Refers to a driver in the right lane of a multilane street approaching an intersection where the light is red; AND these four other conditions are present: 1) There is plenty of room to be in the middle lane, 2) The driver has no intention of turning right, 3) Cars behind the RLJ have their right blinkers on well in advance of the intersection in the hopes that the driver will notice and move to the other lane and allow them to turn right on red; however 4) The driver is clueless as to his or her surroundings.

Optional criteria, not required for the definition, but frequently present: 1) Drivers behind the RLJ with their blinkers on appear pissed. 2) The intersection has an unusually long cycle time before the light turns green, 3) There is virtually no cross traffic. 4) The RLJ's car has its fuel door open, with the gas cap hanging out.

Passenger: "My contractions are getting closer together. You need to take a right at the next intersection to get to the hospital!"
Driver: "Keep breathing Dear. I'll just put my right turn signal on so that guy in front of us knows to pull to the left before the intersection so we don't have to wait for that light."
Passenger: "He's not pulling over, he just stopped and blocked the right lane, and he's not even turning. Why would he do that?"
Driver: "because he's a right lane jackass and he's clueless. Better hold your legs closed, we may be here awhile"

by MeDavebo September 29, 2014

Flag