jesus take me to the playoffs

When you can’t make the playoffs in madden so you ask Jesus to take you to the playofffs after Jesus floats magesticly down naked and says “if you want to be taken to the play offs the play offs gotta be taken to you” and then you say ok Jesus do what you gotta do and then he says “ good cause I’m gonna FUCK YOU LIKE I FUCKED THAT PIG” *looks at pig * “oh my god it’s in half was it like that when you fucked it” Jesus says “no” then you ask “how long is it” then Jesus responds in a soft soothing voice “ longer than the pig”

I screamed jesus take me to the playoffs and then Jesus floated down and fucked me with a cock longer than a pig

by Long john slider October 17, 2017

take your breath away

A chick with really bad breath that is beautiful.

Roger: See that gal across the room ?

Harvey: Yes, she takes my breath away.

Roger: You got that right. She will take your breath away. I hired her to peel wallpaper in my bathroom with it.

by cut the cards February 23, 2023

I always take the train

Proper response for when someone says that you "missed the boat"

^ You missed the boat on that one, buddy
> Yeah, well, I always take the train, so suck it

by thurb March 31, 2023

take your turkey to chipotle

When you smoke a bowl then blow the smoke in yo girls virgina then stick yo dick in and pull it out and let her suck of the slime and smoke.

When you take your turkey to chipotle it's fun.

by God of 69 January 25, 2023

Taking the a train up town

Where a group of 6 to 10 women get naked and standing form a line with their legs spread so as to form an upside down 'v'. This creates a tunnel of sorts. The woman in the back of the line crawls on her hands and knees giving each pussy a lick until she's reached the front of the line. Then the next woman. In the back of the line does the same and so on and so forth until every woman has been 'serviced' so to speak.

Brigit and Kayla hosted a slumber party over at kayla's house since kayla's parents were out of town. There were about. 15 of us. We played board games gossiped. And ended up. Taking the a train up town

by 4realazitgits April 5, 2021

Are you taking job applications

Something you say to companies when you are looking for a job and wish to apply.

'Are you taking job applications?' He said, with his resume in his hands.

by derulais July 24, 2022

take my cheese and run

a phrase used when you are leaving a place in a hurry due to a potentially dangerous situation

"Man, it looks like this storm is coming in fast. The news projected possible hail and tornadoes."

"Well then I better take my cheese and run, because I don't mess with tornadoes."

by cheeseguy24 November 11, 2022