thurb's definitions

just like your dick

Useful comeback for when somebody says something that irritates you

^ Dude, that phony charm routine you use on women...it don't work anymore
> Yeah, just like your dick
^ Hey!

by thurb April 16, 2023

offense intended

The opposite of "no offense"
It's what you say right before insulting somebody to let him know your insult is intentional and that you mean every word of it too

^ No offense, but you support racist immigration policies, and I don't respect that
> Yeah, well, offense intended: I screw your Salvadoran girlfriend behind your back, and she loves it. So take that, you cuckolded little B
^ Hey, what the hell!

by thurb April 16, 2023

I was talking to your tits

What a dude says moments after accidentally telling the gal he's been sleeping with that he loves her

^ *whispering* Love you s-o-o-o much...mmmm
> Really? *smooch smooch smooch* I love you too, baby! When are we getting married?
^ Huh? NO! I was talking to your tits!

by thurb April 16, 2023

spiritual eyesore

A woman who is beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside

ralph: Do you know what a spiritual eyesore is?
ned: Do I? Shit! I'm married to one, buddy. Hello?
fiona: Hey! I heard that, motherfucker!
ned: Oops! Sorry, dear!

by thurb January 1, 2021

I'm so over it

It's something that only a person who is so not over it ever says

political reporter: Madam Speaker, some Americans think impeaching Donald Trump a second time suggests that you have a personal vendetta against him. What do you have to say to those people who...
nancy pelosi: Personal vendetta? Oh, please. I'm so over it. Next question!

by thurb February 3, 2021

JISM

An acronym. It stands for "Jerks In Social Media"
Another name for members of the Cancel Culture mob on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram et al who exist a) to be outraged and b) to make others' lives miserable

Never back down from or apologize to the JISM because the JISM are never satisfied. They only want to crush you

by thurb April 1, 2021

Hangin' out with the wrong people

Lame excuse often used to rationalize why somebody's life went in a bad direction

Hangin' out with the wrong people, my ass! You ARE the "wrong people", fool. Wise the hell up!

by thurb April 25, 2021