thurb's definitions

just like your dick

Useful comeback for when somebody says something that irritates you

^ Dude, that phony charm routine you use on women...it don't work anymore
> Yeah, just like your dick
^ Hey!

by thurb April 16, 2023

offense intended

The opposite of "no offense"
It's what you say right before insulting somebody to let him know your insult is intentional and that you mean every word of it too

^ No offense, but you support racist immigration policies, and I don't respect that
> Yeah, well, offense intended: I screw your Salvadoran girlfriend behind your back, and she loves it. So take that, you cuckolded little B
^ Hey, what the hell!

by thurb April 16, 2023

I was talking to your tits

What a dude says moments after accidentally telling the gal he's been sleeping with that he loves her

^ *whispering* Love you s-o-o-o much...mmmm
> Really? *smooch smooch smooch* I love you too, baby! When are we getting married?
^ Huh? NO! I was talking to your tits!

by thurb April 16, 2023

that's what Xi said

That's what Xi Jinping, the Chinese Communist Party leader, said

^ The virus originated in a Wuhan wet market
> Yeah, that's what Xi said

by thurb October 30, 2021

That shit's fire

A simple statement acknowledging next level greatness

^ One hit off that joint from Ned's stash, and four hours later I'm still buzzed
> Yeah, no kidding. That shit's fire

by thurb August 8, 2021

You beat everything

A polite way of telling someone what a giant fuck up he is

joe: You beat everything, Hunter. You know that?
hunter: Oh, come on, Dad
joe: You beat every-THING!
hunter: Ah, geez...

by thurb August 8, 2021

spiritual eyesore

A woman who is beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside

ralph: Do you know what a spiritual eyesore is?
ned: Do I? Shit! I'm married to one, buddy. Hello?
fiona: Hey! I heard that, motherfucker!
ned: Oops! Sorry, dear!

by thurb January 1, 2021