Mental Masturbation

The act of engaging in useless yet intellectually stimulating conversation, usually as an excuse to avoid taking constructive action in your life.

Guy 1: "If only I had taken Cindy to my high school prom, I could have fucked her instead of that loser Jeff and then now she would be my girlfriend."

Guy 2: "Dude, stop that mental masturbation right now and go out and meet a new girl!"

by SweetP April 12, 2005

Masturbation

a way to stay faithfulto your girl.

you do it cause: youre horny/bored/to kill time/just because its a habit.

masturbation is a great way to relieve horniness or just cause youre bored.

by www.myspace.com/orgasmaddiction August 26, 2006

masturbation

1. America's number one past-time.
2. Reasons why many kittens die.

1.
Dude 1: "Dude you wanna go party or something?"
Dude 2: "Nah... I'm gonna participate in the great American past-time."
Dude 1: "Ahh... masturbation."

2.
Dude 1: "Dude that kitten just died."
Dude 2: "Ahh shit, I shouldn't have masturbated last night."

by thewhorewhoisjerome August 4, 2007

Masterbation

We're a male or a female pleasures them self's in a sex like motion

I am a masterbation expert

by Glittergal_197 October 6, 2017

masturbationpiece

A specific collage of porn images and video which are perfectly arranged on one or more computer screens in order to achieve masturbatory perfection.

My most recent creation had two looped video clips and four different images on two monitors. Each video was centered on its own monitor and was bordered by two images. Clips were edited to eliminate all chances of a misfire, and images were cropped to remove any useless sections. It was a dual monitor full screen utilization Masturbationpiece.

by Smith Master February 23, 2011

masterbating with a cheese grater

Doing a task that is not a good idea

Moving this piano without help is like masterbating with a cheese grater.

by matt1975 September 10, 2012

Mutual Masturbation

What you and your girlfriend did as kids when you took a pledge to the church, and then told your pastor you've never had sex with each other. Cause technically you didn't.

When kim and david were on the bed at night watching TV, they got horny. But they remembered their pledges. So they just took of their pants and underwear and had mutual masturbation then told their pastor they've never had sex.

by Raw Doggy April 7, 2010