christmas

Christian holiday moved to conflict with the time of year when everyone everywhere (and everywhen) celebrates the winter solstice (point of Earth's orbit where, in the northern temperate zones, the sun's zenith slows its southern decent and begins moving north again = another year to live).

2. Hodgepodge of ancient and not-so-ancient rituals, including sacrificing a tree to Mother Nature, celebrating the miracle that got Nicholas his sainthood (reassembling murdered and hacked up child parts in a barrel back into children), and, oh, the birth of Jesus, a jew, and the guy that made 12 of his buddies drink his blood and eat his flesh, before he got executed and came back from the dead. (Can you say "zombie"?)

3. Day that Santa brings new socks and undies. If your bad, you get coal (to keep from freezing) and an orange (for vitamin C to prevent scurvy).

Fucking Christmas. I wanna get drunk.

by danw December 22, 2003

Christmas Caroling Hoe

A step above a christmas hoe, a christmas caroling hoe is a woman who has been around the block and consistantly continues to go around the block one house at a time.

Jeremy: Yo son, I'm already hella drunk and need to hurry up and find someone to take to the crib.

Tony: I heard that, I'm to the point where I just might holla at a christmas caroling hoe.

Jeremy: Ummm... Nah, I rather masterbate. That's all you though.

by DeezyD May 1, 2009

Cleveland Christmas

When you lube her ass hole with oil and then in a Lebron James-esque , pre-game ritual way powder her ass with cinnamon and sugar.

“Last night my bitch was feeling merry. So I decided to give her a Cleveland Christmas.”

by Kean Dermann October 25, 2018

Christmas

A holiday that was originally meant to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ ,even though nobody really knows when he was born. Fortunately for kids, nobody really gives a shit about that part. In modern days, its all about adults bitching about much money they have to spend on their kids only to have the ungrateful little bastards bitch and moan about how they didn't get everything they wanted. Also a day that somehow went from celebrating the birth of Christ to a day celebrating a fat guy in a red suit that breaks into peoples houses and leaves presents under a tree that for some reason is indoors decorated with all kinds of cheap crap. Talk about selling out. Jesus would not be happy :(

Christmas is by far the greatest marketing scheme of all time. The commercials usually start mid November, completely ignoring Thanksgiving, and thanks to all the propoganda, it insures that all the stores can raise their prices only to say that it's a super limited Christmas "bargain." All in all, Christmas is a great holiday, so fuck it, Merry Friggin Christmas to all and to all a good night. Just remember that National Hangover Day is right around the corner

by Xero _ Manifest December 25, 2010

Christmas

A holiday that originally was supposed to be for the birth of Christ, but after all these years, its just nothing but commercials, sales, and stress. What does a fat guy who hauls gifts down into your lifing room, and then flies away on a sleigh have to do with Jesus Christ? Jack squat.

Half the people who celebrate Christmas aren't even celebrating Jesus' birthday.

by adonkeyisaass October 26, 2003

christmacide

The deliberate and systematic destruction or prevention of Christmas celebration.

There would be no presents for anyone this year -- Mother had committed christmacide and the holiday celebration was cancelled.

by saram April 13, 2007

Christmas

A celebration that happens every December. The Bible mentions no scripture about celebrating this day, nor does it even show the true date of Jesus Christ's birth.

A great chance for every stock market and major department stores to make the cash.

There's no scripture in the Bible that tells people to celebrate Christmas day, nor does it even mention the real date Jesus was born in.

by import_killer April 15, 2006