Skip to main content

Cunt Messburger

Cunt "Woody" Messburger (pronounced /ˈmessbɜrɡər/; born May 26, 1939) is an American dorkcaster for the ESPN and ABC television networks. Formerly with CBS Sports and one of the original dorks of their boring program The NFL Today, Messburger has covered NBA, MLB, NCAA college Football and basketball games. Messburger has also served as a studio dork for games, a play by play dork, and halftime dork. He has also performed post game wrap up dork segments and covered championship trophy dork presentations.

POSTED: 10:58 am PDT September 19, 2005
UPDATED: 11:21 am PDT September 19, 2005

LINCOLN, Neb. -- An ABC dorkcaster was ticketed by Lincoln police after Saturday's Nebraska football game.
Play-by-play dorkster Cunt Messburger had just finished calling the Huskers' game against Pittsburgh when he was cited near Memorial Stadium. Lincoln police said he was cited for consuming alcohol in public and having an open container in his car. At 6:10 p.m., Messburger was riding down Ninth Street in a rental car after the game headed toward a crosswalk near Ninth and T streets. A viewer of Nebraska television station KETV said a Lincoln police officer directing traffic stopped the car Messburger was riding in to let fans exiting the stadium get through the crosswalk. If he chooses not to contest it in court, his citation for consuming alcohol in public and having an open container of alcohol in a vehicle comes with a fine of $144.
Why would anyone hire that dork, Cunt Messburger?
Cunt Messburger mug front
Get the Cunt Messburger mug.
See more merch

Cunt-Tard 

Guy 1- Did you hear about what happened to Dave?

Guy 2- No

Guy 1-After his Cunt girlfriend picked out a very expensive engagement ring and made him buy it, then made him go to Ireland to meet her holy rolling dad- she said no when he proposed.

Guy 2-Damn- she is not a Cunt- she in an evil Cunt-Tard!

cuntbitchevilhoewhoreretardmental
Cunt-Tard by Arjay3 October 21, 2010
Related Words

Cunt Clappers 

Extremely slack female genitalia which claps together after riding miles of cock during a lifetime.
John: "I had this old saggy woman last night, her vagina was clapping together with every thrust"

Peter: "Ah yes, the old cunt clappers. My gran used to have this problem!"
Cunt Clappers by Peter Boobkakke October 21, 2010

Cunt Farmer 

One who is known for trolling clubs and other hot spots in search of sexual conquests, and is more often than not successful.
man, jay is such a cunt farmer. i saw him get 5 numbers in one night.
Cunt Farmer by specksy November 28, 2010

Cunt Farm or "C" Farm 

used to describe a group of girls getting together. similar to when a group of guys are together and its called sausage fest.
A guy walks into a party and realizes that the party consists of all girls. the guy would say, " this party is a real Cunt Farm or "C" Farm.
Cunt Farm or "C" Farm by lil Kt January 17, 2011

Cunt Ton 

Exactly 1000 fuck tons. The largest unit of measurement imaginable. May be either quantitative or qualitative. An imperial measure, therefore a metric cunt ton may be larger.
Dude 1: That's a shit ton of stuff. No, bigger than that, a fuck ton.
Dude 2: No, that's like 1,000 fuck tons. I'd call that a cunt ton.
Cunt Ton by ElOjo May 20, 2011

cunt cam 

Eventually Holly realized she had a problem when she started calling in sick to work, just so she could linger on various cunt cam sites.
cunt cam by Shar1 October 11, 2013