There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying.
The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Pick a nice day, and try it.
The first part is easy.
All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt.
Clearly, it is the second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties. You have to miss the ground accidentally.
If you are lucky enough to have your attention distracted just in time, please take note of the following: ignore all consideratinos of your own weight and let yourself waft higher, do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful (They are most likely to say something along the lines of "Good God, you can't possibly be flying!" and it is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right). Waft higher and higher, try a few swoops, DO NOT WAVE AT ANYBODY.
Landing is another story.
The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Pick a nice day, and try it.
The first part is easy.
All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt.
Clearly, it is the second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties. You have to miss the ground accidentally.
If you are lucky enough to have your attention distracted just in time, please take note of the following: ignore all consideratinos of your own weight and let yourself waft higher, do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful (They are most likely to say something along the lines of "Good God, you can't possibly be flying!" and it is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right). Waft higher and higher, try a few swoops, DO NOT WAVE AT ANYBODY.
Landing is another story.
Arthur Dent suddenly tripped and was hurled forward by his considerable momentum. But just at the moment he was about to hit the ground astoundingly hard he saw lying directly in front of him a small navy blue tote bag. In his astonishment he missed the ground completely and bobbed off into the air.
What Arthur was doing was this: he was flying.
See also: Life the Universe and Everything, Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, and Arthur Dent
What Arthur was doing was this: he was flying.
See also: Life the Universe and Everything, Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, and Arthur Dent
by Todd W December 7, 2006
Get the flying mug.The alleged deity of The Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) theory which was first publicly postulated in an open letter to the Kansas School Board during the debates on whether or not to introduce Intelligent Design in to the science curriculum. The FSM is theorized to manipulate observable data such as carbon dating results via 'His' Noodly Appendage. We are also taught that The FSM hates when its subjects do not dress as pirates. FSM followers claim that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s.
1) If Intelligent Design can be taught in schools as a scientific theory than so can Flying Spaghetti Monster theory.
by mr. edmo August 28, 2005
Get the Flying Spaghetti Monster mug.Related Words
While doing it doggy style at the top of a stairway, just before orgasm, give a standard donkey punch, then pull her arms back behind her head and ride her down the stairs like a toboggan. This results in a heightened orgasm experience.
Christina said she was into trying new things, but she wasn't too stoked when I performed the old flying toboggan.
by walker t August 27, 2006
Get the flying toboggan mug.Though used in daily speech, little is actually known about the flying fuck. Native to Africa, this flightless bird tends to be secretive and rarely allows itself to be visible, hence, examining it in it's natural habitat is nearly impossible. Due to their extreme lack of activity within the community, they were considered a rare commodity throughout several African villages. The term "I don't give a flying fuck" Originally meant that you could not put a price on such a item or service, but after translation and over use, the statement now means the exact opposite of this.
Jimmy left his flying fuck in the wagon, and now he has none. He can no longer give a "flying fuck", as he has none.
by Norman "GIR" Lalonde August 17, 2004
Get the Flying Fuck mug.The ultimate lord and ruler of the universe, and the deity of the Pastafarian religion. He created the world using His Great Noodley Appendage.
No other monsters can be worshiped before Him (after is fine, just use protection).
The only Monster deserving of capitalization, other monsters are inferior to Him, unworthy of capitalization.
Even Christians have accepted that He has more balls than their god.
His first and most holy disciples were the pirates, who
(contrary to what the old age Christians would tell you) traveled the world and gave children candy.
Unfortunately, the number of pirates are shrinking, causing global warming and other natural disasters to rise.
Some places still have pirates, like Somalia, which has the lowest carbon emissions of any country, coincidence?
He, in His infinite wisdom, created the Eight "I'd really rather you didn't s", the holy tenets of the Pastafarian religion.
For example: "I'd really rather you didn't build multimillion-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to His Noodly Goodness when the money could be better spent ending poverty, curing diseases, living in peace, loving with passion and lowering the cost of cable."
When one dies, they will be with Him in heaven, along with a Stripper factory and a Beer Volcano.
R'amen.
No other monsters can be worshiped before Him (after is fine, just use protection).
The only Monster deserving of capitalization, other monsters are inferior to Him, unworthy of capitalization.
Even Christians have accepted that He has more balls than their god.
His first and most holy disciples were the pirates, who
(contrary to what the old age Christians would tell you) traveled the world and gave children candy.
Unfortunately, the number of pirates are shrinking, causing global warming and other natural disasters to rise.
Some places still have pirates, like Somalia, which has the lowest carbon emissions of any country, coincidence?
He, in His infinite wisdom, created the Eight "I'd really rather you didn't s", the holy tenets of the Pastafarian religion.
For example: "I'd really rather you didn't build multimillion-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to His Noodly Goodness when the money could be better spent ending poverty, curing diseases, living in peace, loving with passion and lowering the cost of cable."
When one dies, they will be with Him in heaven, along with a Stripper factory and a Beer Volcano.
R'amen.
On the first day, the Flying Spaghetti Monster separated the water from the heavens; on the second, because He could not tread water for long and had grown tired of flying, He created the land—complemented by a beer volcano. Satisfied, the Flying Spaghetti Monster overindulged in beer from the beer volcano and woke up hungover. Between drunken nights and clumsy afternoons, the Flying Spaghetti Monster produced seas and land (for a second time, accidentally, because he forgot that he created it the day before) along with Heaven and a midget, which he named Man. Man and an equally short woman lived happily in the Olive Garden of Eden for some time until the Flying Spaghetti Monster caused a global flood in a cooking accident.
"If you don't like us, your old religion will most likely take you back."-Bobby Henderson
"If you don't like us, your old religion will most likely take you back."-Bobby Henderson
by adminkiller March 8, 2011
Get the flying spaghetti monster mug.WARNING - this is a very advanced sex maneuver that only those with the proper training should even consider to attempt
The move starts out with a guy and a girl having sex doggie style
The man initiates the move by lifting up the girl and spinning her above his head like one tosses pizza crust before they cook it - After thoroughly spinning the female around his head (in order to make her fully dizzy) the guy proceeds to stop her, grab her mid-region, and drop her body onto his erect penis penetrating one of her various bodily orifices and immediately ejecting his secret sauce into the previously stated orifice
The move starts out with a guy and a girl having sex doggie style
The man initiates the move by lifting up the girl and spinning her above his head like one tosses pizza crust before they cook it - After thoroughly spinning the female around his head (in order to make her fully dizzy) the guy proceeds to stop her, grab her mid-region, and drop her body onto his erect penis penetrating one of her various bodily orifices and immediately ejecting his secret sauce into the previously stated orifice
Fred: "Dude i saw a video of some guy doing the Flying Pizzaria - that chick couldn't walk right for a week!"
Roger: "haha yea i tried doing that once, but im not up to that level yet"
Roger: "haha yea i tried doing that once, but im not up to that level yet"
by ATMC April 15, 2010
Get the Flying Pizzaria mug.flyingflip a less offensive non vulgar alternative to flying fuck when cursing is not appropriate and you want to use your best manors
dude you tried to steal my girlfriend
man shes my girlfriend now and i dont give a flyingflip about your feelings
dude you jerkhole i dont give a flyingflip about your feelings either
man shes my girlfriend now and i dont give a flyingflip about your feelings
dude you jerkhole i dont give a flyingflip about your feelings either
by littlejimmie March 8, 2019
Get the flyingflip mug.