Redneck Condom

A plastic bag and a rubber band

well shucks, we ran out of cock covers so lets make one o' thems redneck condoms

by cvhondacv July 10, 2009

Spiky Condom

The Spiky Condom is a shot of alcohol consisting of Goldschlager, Grenadine, Crown Royal, and Red Bull. The shot must be taken quickly and should NEVER be smelled before consumption. The first and most recognizable ingredient, Goldschlager, is the spikes of the Spiky Condom. It is then followed by the Crown Royal which counteracts the "Big Red" flavor making your taste buds pulsate, all while keeping it classy. The Grenadine was chosen for it's deep red color properties, which of course hints at the consequences of a Spiky Condom (Both literally and figuratively). Lastly, the Red Bull puts everything back into perspective by bringing two of your five senses back for a very short period of time. Your vision and your hearing. Use this time wisely as your clear vision and ability to understand people will disappear as quickly as you took the shot.

Bartender: "What can I get you?"

John: "Gimme a Red Bull Vodka, two Jack and Cokes, and 6 Spiky Condoms."

Bartender: "..."

by thehouss October 14, 2011

Trojan Condom

The most trusted condom on the market

Good thing I had my Trojan Condom because I don't need more kids

by Dr. D3ath August 17, 2005

Internet Condom

A protective software that blocks infections from porn websites and files.

John: Dude! I think I have herpes!

Doug: That sucks man! Who did you get it from?

John: Some guy named Jason. He emailed me some porn and I opened a file called herpes.exe.

Doug: You need an internet condom man! You can't just enter an infected file like that. I usually wear 2 internet condoms, AVG and Norton.

by rogerthewhale January 21, 2012

Pocket Condom

A condom that has been in your pocket for a very long time. Very compressed and looks like you've sat on it for 20 days. Only used in emergency's.

"I almost had to use that nasty pocket condom, but I found a black gas station condom thank god."

by Dierks Olgensen May 3, 2010

mesh condom

A completely unreliable and useless individual.

Eric was supposed to be here an hour ago to help us move!

Yeah, well I don't know why you're surprised, he's as reliable as a mesh condom

by jingerotomy June 17, 2008

Ear Condom

To say that one wears an "ear condom" is to imply that one is critical of what others are saying, to the point where they block it all out. Made popular by the Lady Gaga song "Judas".

People kept telling me I could never make it as a professional donkey model, but I put on my ear condoms and tried it anyway!

by bush0023 June 7, 2011