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Jesus Christ 

Yes, it's multiple parts this one...

*The wilderness*

Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"

Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."

Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"

Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"

Jesus "Yep."

Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"

Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."

Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"

Jesus "Oh I know."

Father 😨

Jesus 🤨

Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."

Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"

Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"

Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"

Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"

Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."

Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."

Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."

Father 😨

Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐

Father 😨
Jesus Christ by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
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Jesus Christ 

Jesus Christ by big_nae_nae August 11, 2023

Jesus cable 

A Jesus cable is a cable that will likely cause death, fire or an explosion, like a 220V to USB-C cable.
Mate A: Don't plug that one in.
Mate B: Why?
Mate A: It's a Jesus cable, you'll die if you do.
Jesus cable by SmokeAlt2EveryDay August 21, 2023

Jesus Salad 

A dietary suppliment
Jesus Salad is good for the digestive system. Jesus Salad is a healthy meal containing lettuce, radish, carrots and Greek dressing.
Jesus Salad by JReverend September 14, 2023

Jesus Lighting

Jesus Lighting is the result of a camera focusing on you with light in the background resulting in the person in the photograph being surrounded by heavenly white
Person 1: “How was the visit at the park with your friend?”

Person 2: “Good; very sunny, I took a picture of my friend facing the sun and when I looked at the photo, I got him in Jesus Lighting”

Person 1: “lmao

*may or may not be based on a true story*
Jesus Lighting by roach.baddie September 15, 2023

Jesus H. Fuck 

that phrase you shout when you something terribly unbelievable happens
Kid: I shot the retarded kid!
Dad: Jesus H. Fuck!
Jesus H. Fuck by ChopSuey235 September 23, 2023

Jesus Christ the Nazarene 

God in the flesh.
person 1: hey have you heard of Jesus Christ the Nazarene
person 2: why of course he's God in the flesh!