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monkey wrench 

Two cups of coffee (with enough milk/cream to make it easy to drink quickly), followed immediately by two shots of Bushmills Irish Whiskey (with a teaspoon of black pepper in each shot).

Thought to cure the common cold.
Al: *speaking with a badly congested voice* Ugh.... Sheeyit, man, I got an exam in two hours...

Ben: *proffering coffee and whiskey* Here, man, do a monkey wrench. It'll get you through your exam, that's for damn sure.

*Al drinks the monkey wrench, and happily marches off to face his calculus exam with a fire in his belly casting a mellow glow onto his brain*
monkey wrench by Gyre March 25, 2008
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Monkey King 

The Lord and Master of all the ditto monkeys, Rush Limbaugh.
My Dad is such a ditto monkey, he doesn't have an opinion on anything until he's heard it from the Monkey King.
Monkey King by Drakkus October 19, 2011

Monkey Shines

There are two definitions used for Monkey Shines.

1. A fight or dispute among friends

2. A rut of bad luck
def. 1 - Johnny and I had a bit of the ol' monkey shines this evening

def. 2 - Will these monkey shines never end?
Monkey Shines by starlightdreamer92 December 29, 2008

monkey butt 

Someone acting mean and/or unfair, like a jerk or an asshole.
"My boyfriend is being such a monkey butt lately. He keeps picking fights over nothing!"
monkey butt by orangesapples August 10, 2008

Monkey Water 

The fluid secreted from the penis during intercourse before climax

Good for lubrication but can often lead to pregnancy
Oh no baby I got you pregnant with my monkey water
Monkey Water by RealismIsKey November 21, 2019

monkey fudge 

the best kind of fudge farmed by monkeys in the trees of taiwan in their flying dream shoes. One taste and you're addicted
dude i need some more monkey fudge, i just cant get enough of it

Monkey Fucking a Football

well a football is oddly shaped, and a monkey has no opposable thumbs, so stepping back it would be both uncoordinated and funny to watch, but when your the monkey it would be very frustrating