Soft Pretzel

The equivalent to whiskey dick. When you're so drunk and your mind is ready to fuck but your dick doesn't cooperate no matter how hot or perverted the girl is.

I couldn't get my soft pretzel in her box so I put it in her mouth instead.

by Chuck Schick February 18, 2010

Wet Pretzel

When someone is being extremely lame, or inconveniencing you. Much like finding a bowl full of soaked pretzels in your kitchen sink.

John, don't be such a wet pretzel.

by boltonfanforlife March 28, 2015

fo schnitzel my pretzel

a word used to agree with someone . commonly used by people of the sickest nature or descent.

nick: heyy man are you going to sleep with her?
polo: fo schnitzel my pretzel, shes really hot

by james polo November 22, 2007

put her in a pretzel

When u put a girl legs behind her head and f#ck her

My ex said to put her in a pretzel last night

by Uejnejjejjje March 24, 2017

Chocolate-covered Pretzel

Sticking your hand down your pants and wiping on your ass. The offending hand is then used to handle a victim's goods and/or to shake their hand.

Offender: There's that guy I hate...
Friend: What you gonna do?
Offender: Offer him a chocolate-covered pretzel!

(Offender wipes his hand on his brown eye)

Victim: Hi, how are you?
Offender: Fine thanks, you?

(They shake hands, mission accomplished)

by n3ptun0x May 30, 2006

pretzel

a male who, upon a post-hookup facebook check or upon hearing comments from witnesses of said hookup, turns out to be somewhat less attractive than one originally thought; often characterized by the taste of a pretzel.

Girl 1: Um yeah, he kind of tasted like a pretzel.
Girl 2: He looked like a pretzel.

"That Patrick - he turned out to be a real pretzel."

by girl 1 December 9, 2008

Pretzel-Dog

During sex, one partner does a headstand in the pretzel position(crossing your legs like a pretzel) While the other partner preforms butt sex to the headstanding person. Before taking part in this act, you may cover your bodies in salt. If desired, you may have various animals running around licking the salt off your bodies.

"Hey I've had a great time tonight, Do you wanna, maybe, Pretzel-Dog?"

"Hell Yeah! I'll get my hamster!"

by niranafrk8108 January 30, 2010