gopher

The upmost hottest girl you ask out but not too hot (not to be confused with a supermodel) who likes you back and is excited to get to know you and have fun on the first date. But throws you a text 3 days before the date explaining she is anxious, going through mental issues, and is not ready to date guys.

She will probably apologize 3 times in one sentence from all the guilt and embarrassment she caused and will then feel bad she broke your heart and probably never will be able to forget what she did and in return become even more emotionally unstable to repeat the cycle of never receiving the confidence to go out on a date.

I asked out a "gopher" to only realized 3 day later she was mentally unstable to handle my awesomeness.

by Nitro Tiger October 3, 2022

Shoe Gophers

Toes, used in a way to unsettle and disturb those around you - probably outing you as having a freaky ass foot fetish.

Guy 1: Hey man look at that chick over there, damn would I love to get an up close and personal look at her succulent shoe gophers!

Guy 2: WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?

by CCGamekiller July 20, 2024

Gopher Meat

An older women that appears younger than she really is and who is considered a viable lay. You're not embarrased to tell your friends about her.

Look at the gopher meat!

by Cheesy Beans February 11, 2017

gophers poking

I ate some food last nite, All the way home I had my {Gophers poking}

I ate some food last nite. All the way. Home my butt hole had a {Gophers poking }

by Thenry January 24, 2017

dusty gopher

When you fuck an old lady and you pull out and there is dust on your dick

Tim-"I banged Cole's grandma last night."
Brad-"Nice, did you get a dusty gopher."
Tim-"You bet your sweet ass I did."

by Dustygopher69 September 28, 2015

Gopher walkies

Thing you say to your dog to tell it you are going to take it on a walk. Dogs go crazy if you say these words so be careful because you might get jumped on

Person 1: Gopher Walkies
Dog 1: woof woof woof, I’m gonna jump on you now, I’m super excited but I’m not gonna hold still while you put the leash on.

by Free v bucks generator troll February 23, 2023

dusty gopher

When you fuck an old lady and pull out and there is dust all over your dick

Example: Tim- "Brad I fucked Cole's grandma last night."
Brad-"Ah cool, did you give her a dusty gopher."
Tim-"You bet your sweet ass I did."

Tim- "Brad I fucked Cole's grandma last night."
Brad-"Ah cool, did you give her a dusty gopher."
Tim-"You bet your sweet ass I did."

by Dustygopher69 September 28, 2015