jesus beating

A severe beating, as in the category of the beating that Jesus received in "Passion of the Christ."

Holy shit, did those cops give Rodney King a Jesus beating, or what!?

by John Testes November 22, 2007

Beating James Spader

When you quickly masterbate, trying to finish in a short amount of time. Quickly trying to squeeze one out at work without anyone knowing.

In the movie 'The Secretary' James Spader ferociously beats off behind his secretary as one of his clients, who has an appointment, waits to see him.

I'm skipping lunch and "Beating James Spader". To hell with the meeting I'm "Beating James Spader" today.

by FelixM13 September 9, 2009

Bathing a Dirty Sloth

Bathing a Dirty Sloth is when the recipient of anal defecates on the penis and then proceeds to gift the giver of anal with a handjob using spit as a lubricant

Bathing a Dirty Sloth is when the recipient of anal shits on the dick and then gives them a handjob with spit as lube
"I heard Beth bathed a dirty sloth last night"
"That girl is freaky!"

by BearSplitz96 September 15, 2017

Beating One Out

To masturbate aggressively, usually with a penis.

Synonyms:
Beat One Out
Beat the Meat
Beat It (yes Michael Jackson wrote a song about masturbating)
Beating the Sausage
Going to Causeway

PublicSafety: Open up! There's been a noise complaint.

Dug: Sorry officers, I was just Beating One Out.

PublicSafety: Carry on.

by definitelynottheghostofmichael October 28, 2018

Water Breathing Dragon

When you insert a hose in the rectum/vaginal cavity and turn it on.

I can’t wait to try the Water Breathing Dragon with my girl.

by RandomUser03737 June 4, 2021

Stuffing the Turkey, Beating the Jerky

Involves fisting your asshole whilst tossing yourself off.
The resulting mixture of semen and shit can be stored and served on toast.

Tyrone: I once walked in on my little brother Stuffing the Turkey, Beating the Jerky.

Declan: Nigga yo bro be a sick fuck.

by cutebabe8374 May 6, 2010

Branching Tree

When a man or woman(if they are in to that)
inserts a closed fist into a woman's vagina. Once the vagina has been fully penetrated the man or woman slowly opens his/her fist resembling blooming blossoms on a tree in the spring time.

My girlfriend screamed when i introduced her to the branching tree. Maybe it was because i didn't trim my fingernails.

by Dan Schweddy February 24, 2009