Beathing

Beathing is like breathing but its not, since it misses an “r” and you have to do it manually now, its something different

No breathing, only beathing is allowed

Beathing by Izaak_and_gerrit_time February 6, 2020

Cave Bathing 

An experiential rite of passage for graduate students wherein the immersion into ancient, thermal, translucent seminal fluid filled Hungarian caverns transforms dissonant, quasi-intellectual brain cells into a hyper-aligned neural configuration, inducing a genius level information processing, multi-dimensional innovation & superior emotional agility.

{Ca 2005 - Budapest Hungary: Two ambitious MBA students, Jason Von Goggle & D Dog, guided by their professorial mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo enter a musty portal accompanied by European post cold war era techno music. As the moist, loin infused vaporlettes enveloped the 3 men, a wafting sense of purpose revealed itself as a voice, eminating from the waters edge resemblant of an Ancient Ottoman Angel, they heard the words (Hungarian accent), "Get into the cave bath...& explore my caverns." Perplexed, yet eager with confused anticipation, the 3 swam through the hybrid, geo-architectural labyrinth on a quest for wisdom, enlightenment & a surprise, grotesque coital engagement between consenting adults donning the minimum garments required, enough so to give a child mental scars but not risque enough to get arrested. Von Goggle & D Dog would soon emerge, cleansed, subtly violated & reinvigorated with the motivation of an ancient Greco Roman scholar, suited for battle, ontological debate & prepared to expose themselves, with confidence in a more revealing, modernized bathing outfit, like that of their mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo.

1. "Jason, what is that shimmering oily film on top of the water? Is that supposed to be part of the 'Cave Bathing' experience?" Yes, D Dog, now quit looking at that hairy couple in a primordial carnal exchange, and dunk your sack in the Cave Bath.

2. {Professor Thongspeedo explains to Jason and D Dog} "Gentlemen, follow me down the corridor and immerse yourselves in the bountiful tonic that once permeated the flesh from the likes of the ancient Romans. Now, forget that you just saw a man clipping his toenails near the edge of the reservoir into the bath, and join me in the celebration of your transformation to noble scholars, courtesy of the 'Cave Bathing' experience."

Cave Bathing by Charitable Disguise January 25, 2020

Bird bathing 

When a man washes or soaks his entire private area in a sink (usually a bathroom sink) in an attempt to get it clean. (This term was created and coined on the judges podcast - anchor.fm/the-judgies)

Josh started bird bathing after sex to clean up. He likes to cuddle afterward…

Bird bathing by Flxsh September 4, 2021

Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer  

A parable passed down for generations describing the futility of the unintelligent to perform simple tasks.

Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.

After being shown how twice, Dan never did learn how to open the fence, so it rained on him a few hours later. He was just like a Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer that day.

Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer by Louisiana Gold December 21, 2008

seasons' beatings

These are domestic fights that occur when friends, relatives and alcohol all mix on holidays!

Dispatch to all units in the area of 5th and Lafferty we have a large domestic fight reported, seasons' beatings!

seasons' beatings by I, Wreckerrr November 12, 2020

who invented breathing 

The person who indeed invented breathing is Mr. Corpse Husband himself.

person: “who invented breathing?”
us: “CHOKE ME LIKE YOU HATE ME”

who invented breathing by kittykittymeowmeowpur January 11, 2021

beating army

A common colloquialism for "jerking off" at the US Naval Academy. Perhaps the most popular pastime among male midshipmen, due to a natural aversion towards dark siding, a general lack of attractive young women, and the ever present fear of being SAPR'd. Not to be confused with the female equivalent, "plebing your cover", which is a play on the term for the way freshmen (plebes) carry their covers (hats) by spreading their hand on the inside and carrying by their side.

I caught my roommate beating army last night. I'm not comfortable in the room anymore.

beating army by Chesty J December 1, 2014