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Ass-Wiper's Dilemma

Having failed to confirm paper-roll occupancy, the still-seated bathroom hostage is confronted with a shockingly irresponsible, post-evacuation condition and presented precious few options...shirt sleeve, sock, fingers; air-dry, yell/text for help, pull'em up and carry-on...
What will it be? Let's...plan ahead for the Ass-Wiper's Dilemma.
by YAWA March 11, 2019
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wired-to-the-tits

An adjective indicating an extreme degree of inebriation beyond safety, reason and/or consciousness.
Jose Contreras: Daamn, I was wired-to-the-tits drunk last night.
Bruce Lee: No shit, you were hitting on motherfucking livestock by the end of the night.
by benny b from the bronx August 26, 2007
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Butler's Wipe

A Butler's Wipe references clean up services provided by a male after wet, jizz filled sex sessions. The Butler's Wipe is performed when sex juices are wiped and cleaned from the body and orifices of the other sexual partner or partners. Cleaning is performed using a traditional gak towel or doddle rag. While the Butler's Wipe is most often performed by the male partner in one on one sexual activity, Butler Wipes can be provided to multiple partners. In sex group settings and orgies, sex party participants often designate one male individual specifically to provide Butler Wipes throughout the party serving clean up for all orgy participants.
Reed banged his girlfriend Leslie for hours until they both exploded their love loads. Leslie was covered from stem to stern with Reed's man gravy. Because Reed is a gracious, serving lover, he pulled out the doddle rag from under the bed and gave Leslie a Butler's Wipe.
by Eaton Holgoode February 22, 2014
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wifed

meaning you are taken by someone and in a meaningful relationship with them.
"how's your love life..?"
"i'm wifed."
by HisWifey050207 June 17, 2007
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Wired Pussy

Lesbian electro sex and bondage with wet orgasms and fisting.
Dina experienced wired pussy when was put in her place by the wickedly cruel mistress who inflicted pain and pleasure upon her through fucking implements that shocked her until she came in wet ecstasy.
by rollergirl February 13, 2014
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Baby wipe bath

A quick and dirty way to clean yourself outside of a normal bathing situation (e.g. a festival, a service station toilet, in the car on the way to work). Frequently used by festival goers when the provided facilities are less than desirable.
"Oh my GOD I have the worst case of festivalfanny. I need to stop having baby wipe baths and have a real shower!"
by larkusto February 6, 2010
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Ghost Wipe

That amazing moment after pooping when you grasp the folded toilet paper and majestically wipe your butt only to find that there's no poop to wipe. The remains of loose poop and dinkleberries went down with the clonk of poop. A type of Poop-Score
Guy in bathroom-SCORE!!
Guy outside of bathroom-What?
Guy in bathroom-I just got a ghost wipe!
Guy outside of bathroom-Nice! Bonus!
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