57 definitions by benny b from the bronx

The central character of John Kennedy Toole's pulitzer prize winning novel A Confederacy of Dunces.
In his 30s, Ignatius still lives with his innocent, old, alcoholic of a mother. Despite his immense education and former profession as a university professor, our protagonist had no patience for his students' inferior minds.
He could be described as an oafish genius prone to fantastic levels of delusion. His epic viewpoint on even the most trivial of things makes it difficult to sustain a steady job. Ignatius has a particular interest in his disdain for pop culture, and modernity in general. In fact, Reilly goes to such great lengths to revel in this disdain that he will, for example, attend the movie theater just to fiercely ridicule the lesser films.
Easily rivals Patrick Bateman as the most unintentionally humorous fictional character of all time.
Bruce Lee: Who is more unintentionally funny, the infamous Patrick Bateman or the immortal Ignatius Reilly?
Jose Contreras: They're both gut wrenchingly hilarious. Ignatius is loveable despite his ridiculousness, Bateman is despicable but awesome from a birds eye view. Both are pretty far removed from reality in one way or another, but Ignatius is a far more interesting character though American Psycho's satire is more pointed and effective.
Bruce Lee: Would you shut the fuck up?
by benny b from the bronx August 16, 2007
the mysterious bus that whisks away all the ugly people from the bar and replaces them with their beautiful cousins; usually arrives after your tenth drink.
Jose Contreras: Wow, where did all these aesthetically gifted women come from?
Bruce Lee: I assume the fugly bus came by a few drinks ago.
Jose Contreras: Shit... well, fuck it.
by benny b from the bronx August 17, 2007
1.
performed when a girl, especially a bitch, is sucking on your balls; the man, or receiver of the nut-sucking, proceeds to smack the bitch across the face quite hard. But, it is a failed o-ring if the cock smackage does not cause the bitch's, or the balls sucker's, ears to ring. The most effective o-rings will knock a bitch out cold.
2.
to perform an o-ring.
1.
Bruce Lee: That chick jessica keeps giving me shit about her being pregnant but i didnt even stick it in the bitch!
Jose Contreras: Sounds like she could use an o-ring... knock that bitch out and she won't come back to complain to you anymore.
2.
Jose Contreras: Man, I o-ringed that bitch so hard last night she was out for an hour!
Bruce Lee: Thats nothing, ese. I once hospitalized a bitch I o-ringed her so hard.
by benny b from the bronx November 11, 2004
n. the suggestive pictures and prose used in beer, wine and liquor ads
Jose Contreras: Why is that beer bottle shaped like a naked woman??
Bruce Lee: Typical alcoporn dude
by benny b from the bronx May 10, 2006
An adjective indicating an extreme degree of inebriation beyond safety, reason and/or consciousness.
Jose Contreras: Daamn, I was wired-to-the-tits drunk last night.
Bruce Lee: No shit, you were hitting on motherfucking livestock by the end of the night.
by benny b from the bronx August 22, 2007
determining where you drank last night by examining your collection of matchbooks and credit card receipts; also known as following the caper trail.
Bruce Lee: What in God's name are you looking for?
Jose Contreras: Just doing some pocket forensics. I was allegedly quite boisterous last night but I don't recall being in public.
by benny b from the bronx August 17, 2007
In poker, to make a loose play with the intent of looking like a loose player, thus inducing extra action from your opponents later.
Jose Contreras: Wow, I'm calling that motherfucker from now on, he's playing with garbage.
Bruce Lee: He's just advertising you dumb fuck, Johnny is usually tigher than a mouse.
by benny b from the bronx February 22, 2005