tea & crumpets

something gingers eat for lunch
oh those tea & crumpets look nice
by GrannyNorma21 July 19, 2017
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Crumpet Moment

When an individual attempts to be funny but instead grossly enacts a social faux pas of such painful proportion that it becomes a new core memory for the speaker.
Wow, the Trump versus Elon beef has soo many crumpet moments in it!
by Donnum June 07, 2025
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serious crumpet

That lady we met today is very attractive ~ Serious Crumpet
by Guv’nor December 17, 2023
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Protest Crumpet

Typically a late night snack undertaken just because you can and to no one is around to stop you. Alternatively it may refer to your partner refusing a Buttered Crumpet.
Just got warm in bed when I needed to wee so went to make a hot water bottle because I was freezing and now made Protest Crumpets because I needed them for the affront of standing in the cold kitchen.
by Myersrum February 15, 2022
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crumpet dodger

A man who avoids women; typically because he is a homosexual.
"Hey Jamie, you massive crumpet dodger"
by Joni-K July 06, 2016
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Buttering the Crumpets

When you cum while pooping at the same time and the cum is spread on the poop before it hits the water. The penis may also be used as a buttering knife.
Yo' Derek what are you going to do later?
Probably just go home, drink a few beers, and try to butter the crumpets again.
What? Yo, buttering the crumpets is easier when you don't drink.
by poopbutter July 12, 2013
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Crumpet Bumper

A person who prefers to engage in sexual activities with an older woman
"Cory really seems to be into older women"
"Ya, he's a real crumpet bumper"
by AnAverageNormalEveryDayGuy March 20, 2024
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