crumpet

a prostitute, used in the movie 'dumb and dumber'--

harry says: "would you like some tea and crumpets??"
"man that chick is a nasty crumpet she's not worth the 50 cents that she charges"

by holly November 22, 2004

crumpet

Snotty British exchange student(s).

Byron thinks he can use his British accent to get women, what a fuckin' crumpet.

by Anonymous September 5, 2003

Crumpet

The meaning of this word is often mis-understood in the British Isles. Instead of meaning an attractive woman, it in fact means the polar opposite.

A Crumpet is in fact a horrifically ugly mess of a woman, who bares some similarities to a Crumpet. E.G: A cratered face, A greasy face, A short rounded physique. A Crumpet is in fact a woman, who a man should never touch with a bargepole. If a man does 'Eat a Crumpet,' he should lose all respect and all social status.

Example 1.
Male #1: *Wretches* Look at that mess on the other side of the road!
Male #2: What a crumpet. I'd never spread my butter on that.

Example 2.
Male #1: *Wakes up in unfamiliar bedroom. Looks at the woman lay in bed next to him. Instantly thinks 'What a filthy crumpet!' He then legs it to the nearest exit.*

by BorisJohnson April 25, 2011

Crumpet

The act of a man stuffing his junk into the mouth of another person and then proceeding to poop on that persons face.

Man, that chick last night was crazy! She wanted to get a crumpet!" "Man thats sick.

by thecrumpetdeveloper November 18, 2010

Bloody Crumpet

When the tip of the dick, the crumpet, begins to bleed from over stimulation.

"That hoe last night went to hard and gave me the worst bloody crumpet."

by crazylegsmcgee February 6, 2009

buttered crumpet

when a man ejaculates on a womans vagina and then urinates upon said ejaculate.

Man: I just buttered your crumpet.
Woman: Buttered crumpet? Dude that's sick.

by diseased quail June 14, 2011

crumpet

A person of African descent. (A black person).

"Crumpets love the purple drank."

by Schwamp September 7, 2007