Get the proxvir mug.An invitation to an event given solely because of the invitee's close proximity to a conversation about said event.
Proximity invitations most often occur due to feelings of guilt and/or pity, but can also happen in an attempt to fix the awkwardness of the situation. They have been given in the hopes that the invitee is not able to attend the event; however, this is never a smart move, as it always has the potential to backfire.
It is very important to stay emotionless in any situation where a proximity invite could be given to an undesirable. If one of the people conversing about the event senses any weakness at all in one or more of the other conversers, he/she should recognize that a proximity invitation could be imminent, and should forcibly remove himself/herself and the other conversers from the situation, offering an excuse to the would-be invitee if necessary. REMEMBER: you may be the bad guy now, but they WILL thank you later.
Some undesirables are brazen enough to actively seek out proximity invitations by purposefully placing themselves close to those conversing about an event. This technique, known throughout the undesirable community as "seek and destroy," has been reported to work on conversers who are of equal or lesser popularity than the undesirable. They will usually be ignored by conversers who are more popular than the undesirable, unless one or more of the conversers has a reputation for being sympathetic or kindhearted.
DO NOT be swayed by the undesirable's strongest weapon: a sarcastic "Thanks for the invite" or anything similar. A good counter to this phrase is an equally sarcastic "You're welcome" or "My pleasure" or anything along those lines.
If the undesirable is so bold as to actually pretend that they have already received an invitation, it is absolutely necessary that they are put in their place. A simple but effective "You're not invited" will suffice, but it is always a good idea to follow this with an insult, so as to show the undesirable that he/she is not wanted. Ex. "You're not invited, assfaggot."
Proximity invitations most often occur due to feelings of guilt and/or pity, but can also happen in an attempt to fix the awkwardness of the situation. They have been given in the hopes that the invitee is not able to attend the event; however, this is never a smart move, as it always has the potential to backfire.
It is very important to stay emotionless in any situation where a proximity invite could be given to an undesirable. If one of the people conversing about the event senses any weakness at all in one or more of the other conversers, he/she should recognize that a proximity invitation could be imminent, and should forcibly remove himself/herself and the other conversers from the situation, offering an excuse to the would-be invitee if necessary. REMEMBER: you may be the bad guy now, but they WILL thank you later.
Some undesirables are brazen enough to actively seek out proximity invitations by purposefully placing themselves close to those conversing about an event. This technique, known throughout the undesirable community as "seek and destroy," has been reported to work on conversers who are of equal or lesser popularity than the undesirable. They will usually be ignored by conversers who are more popular than the undesirable, unless one or more of the conversers has a reputation for being sympathetic or kindhearted.
DO NOT be swayed by the undesirable's strongest weapon: a sarcastic "Thanks for the invite" or anything similar. A good counter to this phrase is an equally sarcastic "You're welcome" or "My pleasure" or anything along those lines.
If the undesirable is so bold as to actually pretend that they have already received an invitation, it is absolutely necessary that they are put in their place. A simple but effective "You're not invited" will suffice, but it is always a good idea to follow this with an insult, so as to show the undesirable that he/she is not wanted. Ex. "You're not invited, assfaggot."
Jack: Hey, did you hear about the party at my house tonight?
Jill: Yeah, I can't wait!
That Cunthole Steve: ...
Jack: So... Steve... wanna come to my party tonight?
That Cunthole Steve: Sure!
Jack and Jill: Fuck.
---
Jack: Hey, did you hear about the party at my house tonight?
Jill: Yeah, I can't wait!
That Cunthole Steve: ...
Jack: ...You're not getting a proximity invitation, assfaggot.
That Cunthole Steve: I wish I had friends.
Jill: Yeah, I can't wait!
That Cunthole Steve: ...
Jack: So... Steve... wanna come to my party tonight?
That Cunthole Steve: Sure!
Jack and Jill: Fuck.
---
Jack: Hey, did you hear about the party at my house tonight?
Jill: Yeah, I can't wait!
That Cunthole Steve: ...
Jack: ...You're not getting a proximity invitation, assfaggot.
That Cunthole Steve: I wish I had friends.
by Reuben Z. Clitz August 20, 2009
Get the Proximity invitation mug.Related Words
proxy
• prox
• proxie
• proximity infatuation
• Proxymoron
• proxz
• Proximitist
• proximity
• proximity mine
• proximute
by cutepuppykali October 27, 2014
Get the final cut pro x mug.legal definition similiar to power of attorney, e.g. alternative way that leads to a same purpose or conclusion.
by Sify July 5, 2005
Get the by proxy mug.The arrival of a meat sword when in close proximity to others of like-minded interest or infatuation.
All those nerds at Comicon are sporting proximity boners dressed like theyre "to infinity and beyond" instead of getting a job.
by Studly Chucksteak Hungwell November 18, 2015
Get the Proximity Boner mug.A Pedophile By Proxy ("PBP") is a person who enables pedophilia within his or her community by making excuses for the pedophile's behavior, focusing on the pedophile's good qualities while turning a blind eye to the warning signs of abuse, smearing abuse victims, smearing anyone involved with helping abuse victims make an outcry, accusing protective members of the community of being mentally ill, promulgating unlikely alternative explanations for the warning signs of abuse, accusing protective parents of coaching their children to make outcries, lobbying government officials to enact policies designed to normalize pedophilia, etc.
Only a Pedophile by Proxy would consider a child's sex abuse outcry a false allegation on the finding that the alleged perpetrator passed a lie detector test, because it's common knowledge that most pedophiles feel comfortable lying about it.
by metangere August 24, 2019
Get the Pedophile By Proxy mug.When a person or persons stand near another 'cool' group in order to make others think they are, in fact, cool themselves.
(Person A) Is that Sheilla over there with Mark? He's fucking cool, wonder what she's doing there?
(Person B) Nah, she's just standing near them - she's only proxy cool.
(Person A) What a sad bitch.
(Person B) Nah, she's just standing near them - she's only proxy cool.
(Person A) What a sad bitch.
by The Boy Chris October 25, 2008
Get the Proxy Cool mug.