Jerk Occupied

When a girl only dates guys that will hurt her and leave her crying.

Guy #1: Why has that girl been crying so much lately?

Guy #2: I think it's because she's been jerk occupied. She'll only date men that will hurt her.

by Quzu June 9, 2011

Jerdop

When everyone wants to be just like someone because of how awesome/cool they are.

Wow. That kid Adrian is so jerdop.

by The 3 Dollar Bill July 12, 2011

Soft Jerk

Masturbation of or a hand job performed on a soft, flaacid penis. Remains soft and unerect and unable to nut.

I passed out last night doing a soft jerk.

Rachel was disappointed in my performance after she was only able to give me a soft jerk.

by Eaton Holgoode February 12, 2018

Tequila Jerk-Knot

It starts as auto-erotic asphyxiation, then takes a turn once you add lime juice and salt to your member, proceeding by masturbating furiously.

Did you hear about Ryan? He's in the ER after a botched Tequila Jerk-Knot.

by sircocklord December 15, 2019

National Jerk Off Day

December 1st is a holiday for all the brave boys and men who fought through their urges throughout No Nut November! It’s a celebration of what they accomplished and what they will do during Destroy Dick December!

National Jerk Off Day is on December 1st! A celebration of what’s accomplished during No Nut November!!

by FlareHC October 18, 2019

No Jerk Off July

No Jerk Off July is July, but no jerking off. You can use other ways to shoot hot steaming cum all over your mechanical keyboard, just don't jerk off. Only real men can do this.

Obama: Ah yes, time to jerk off to Michelle's feet.

Tyrone: Hol' up. You can't jerk off, it's No Jerk Off July!

Obama: Ah, right, I'll just rape her instead.

by IJerkOffDuringJuly November 4, 2019

as right as my jerk hand

Confirmation/acceptance of something, referring to the speakers handedness for masturbation.

Brenda: You said we’re meeting at 1:30 for coffee, right?
Samuel: You’d be as right as my jerk hand with that.

by wordfanagler January 2, 2019