Brown Eye Witness

One who witnesses a self-cornholing/sodomization with a random object.

Andy and Jared became Brown Eye Witnesses when they watched Matt become an egg-asser.

by Jared March 24, 2004

Jehovah's Witnesses

a bunch of boring mothafuckers who dont selebrate birthdays
they feel it is there goal to anooy the fuck out of normal people

ben- did you talk to those Jehovah's Witnesses bible fags
christian- nah just told the fags i was buddist, stupid cocks

by cwk April 23, 2006

Fair Witness

Fair Witness-originating from the book 'Stranger in a Strange Land' by Heinlein, Fair Witness was a made up profession, and their job was to record everything they heard/saw. What it means play/be fair witness is to, well take questions people ask you somewhat literally, as seen in the example. Yes, you can do something, but that doesn't mean you will-and that can lead into you will/would do something but not right now because no time was specified. This pretty much means messing with peoples' words/questions until they ask you in a very specific way.

James: Okay, can you pick up all of your crap?
Michael: Yes
-Waits-
James: WELL?
Michael: Oh, I'm sorry-did you want something?
James: Stop playing fair witness a pick this stuff up!

by AlliterationAnne September 4, 2009

Jehovah's Witness

Christian religious organization based in Brooklyn New York.
Based on biblical teachings use other literature as aide to provide people free bible courses.

I spoke with one of Jehovah's Witnesses on Saturday.

by JohnQ123 March 11, 2013

whaleness

The state of delusion of morbidly obese females who believe they are actually healthy and cute.

The media has gone nuts with the love fest for Lizzo. Clearly some feminist is pushing whaleness philosophy.

by glorialindquist February 14, 2020

Witness Check

A quick look around to check for witnesses before you proceed to beat someone's ass or worse.

Punchy Paul did a witness check before mugging Oblivious Aaron.

by r/InsaneProtestors April 13, 2021

badgering the witness

to masturbate, the violent manipulation or aggressive stroking of ones genitals

I couldn't get it up for Mary because I was badgering the witness all afternoon.

Susan caught her brother badgering the witness while watching Full House.

by theanarchist July 21, 2013