The cloth, towel, rag, tissue or even a sock that is used to wipe up post coitus or masturbation cum and love juices. Generally kept in the nightstand or under the bed.
Pass me the happy wipe from under the bed. I need to wipe your spunk off my face before it dries.
Mom: Why are little Johnny's socks always so stiff?
Sister: Because he's using them as a happy wipe now instead of my panties.
Mom: Why are little Johnny's socks always so stiff?
Sister: Because he's using them as a happy wipe now instead of my panties.
by Eaton Holgoode March 24, 2017
Get the Happy Wipe mug.A required mid-workout wipe of one's anus due to excessive sweat causing a uncomfortable itchy anal region. May also be exacerbated by greasy, wet farts induced by excessive protein intake.
Braaaaaahhh I got a great pump going here but I'm gonna have to stop for a gym wipe. I'm all itchy and a little greasy. Got the protein farts.
by Eaton Holgoode April 25, 2017
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When you have ass blasted and your bung hole is absolutely wiped raw from rough toilet paper and feels like your cleaning your ass with a cheese grater.
by Eaton Holgoode May 22, 2017
Get the Grater Wipe mug.A post shit toilet paper a wipe of the ass that is completely clean and remnant free. Named from the extremely clean plop and drop and clean release shits that occur when following a plant based and high fiber lifestyle.
I just had a vegan wipe. Hard to believe that just a year ago I was dropping greasy shits and wiping myself raw. This plant diet really has changed my bowels.
by Dick Onchin October 6, 2020
Get the Vegan Wipe mug.A phrase commonly screamed at people who are taking way too much time shitting.
"Pinch the loaf" - is where you pinch your turd off in mid-poop, to hurry.
"wipe the counter" - is where you wipe your ass with haste.
"Pinch the loaf" - is where you pinch your turd off in mid-poop, to hurry.
"wipe the counter" - is where you wipe your ass with haste.
Person 1 has been sitting in the bathroom shitting for an hour.
Person 2: "Pinch the loaf and wipe the counter! We have got to get to the meeting!"
Person 1: "ALRIGHT GOD DAMNIT!"
Person 2: "Pinch the loaf and wipe the counter! We have got to get to the meeting!"
Person 1: "ALRIGHT GOD DAMNIT!"
by Mrs. Hankey June 5, 2010
Get the Pinch the loaf and wipe the counter! mug.A poop log that has been launched deep into the pipe, but is so long that the other end sticks out the top of the toilet pool, as if it was breathing. Additionally, it leaves behind no residue for the pooper to wipe.
"Ma'am, I'm going to need to use your poop knife; we've got a breathin' piper no wiper situation in there."
by thelonious3 October 20, 2019
Get the Breathin' Piper No Wiper mug.The act of employing a square of toilet paper to blot the pesky droplets of pee which sometimes remain at the tip of the penis and may dribble into one's pants or undergarments post- urination.
"Dude, since I started rockin' girlfriend jeans I've been freeballingon the reg and I swear, everytime I piss I get pee stains around my crotch."
"Bro, looks you're gonna have to learn to wipe your dickhole."
"Bro, looks you're gonna have to learn to wipe your dickhole."
by L.O.L. Cool J May 25, 2012
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