captain kirking

to use a numerous amount of ellipses in a sentence or sentences when responding to someone via text and capitalizing entire words for unnecessary emphasis

Sender of message: I... would LIKE to get to know you... if you're interested... please MESSAGE me...if you want...thanks...
Recipient of message: Wow - really captain kirking this aren't you.

by Bad_Idea_Fairy January 13, 2015

Captain Assclown

An assclown who thinks him/her self superior to other assclowns.

John: "I'll do whatever I want, whenever I want! If you have a problem with that, kiss my ass!" Steve: "Just who the hell do you think you are, Captain Assclown?"

by Mini-Me January 31, 2015

Captain Douchington

Captain of the Douchingwa army. Douchingwa is a city in chinadouche of high honor and moral stature. (A surprisingly clean city as well.)

Captain Douchington of the Douchingwa army fought for a just cause.

by djhebert August 29, 2014

Captain Hook

a man, woman, shemale, tranny, or dog with a really curved penis, like Captain Hook's hand

When he pulled down his pants to initiate intercourse, she realized that he has a captain hook, thus had to turn 90 degrees to have sex.

by the rage March 28, 2015

captain upper decker

One takes a shit in the top tank of a toilet and waits for another person to flush the toilet and watches as the water is a constant brown mess

Someone must have captain upper deckered me, cause i flushed the toilet and shit continued to flow and wouldn't go away

by TheSlippyWaffle April 13, 2015

Captain Obvious

when a person states something that is apparent, or restates something that has already been said

(after your girlfriend slashes your tires)...
Person A: FML....every tire is flat
Person B: Brah...your girl is really pissed!!
Person B: No shit!...thanks Captain Obvious

by NYGaluv4eva May 11, 2015

Captain Obvious

A mocking reference to someone who unnecessarily states facts that are obvious or otherwise already known. It is intended as a spurious comparison of the individual to a superhero (e.g. Captain America) treating the individual's grasp of the obvious as though it were something impressive rather than common and ordinary.

Bob: Don't eat too much or you will make yourself sick.
Alice: Thanks, Captain Obvious.

by MC in TX May 11, 2015