You probably found this Jade while searching for your Jade, but you are wrong. This one is different. She is hotter. Taller. Sassier. And... lawyer-er?
Don't massage her too much; her skin is sensitive. But don't let her innocent looks fool you. She's hot and she knows it. Promoters will invite her to clubs to make it look like there are more hot girls there, and she'll drink whatever you buy her, and when you ask for her insta, she'll just bail and go see some other dude at a hookah lounge.
Protip: She doesn't like hookah though, so heads up guys don't take her to that on a first date!
Best ways to get her affection: write urbandictionary definition for her (too late bitches, I'm already doing it now), and help her find a cheap convenient gym (also too late, bitches!)
Also... she has nice legs. They make good seatbelts. But always follow local laws and/or customs regarding seatbelt use!
Don't massage her too much; her skin is sensitive. But don't let her innocent looks fool you. She's hot and she knows it. Promoters will invite her to clubs to make it look like there are more hot girls there, and she'll drink whatever you buy her, and when you ask for her insta, she'll just bail and go see some other dude at a hookah lounge.
Protip: She doesn't like hookah though, so heads up guys don't take her to that on a first date!
Best ways to get her affection: write urbandictionary definition for her (too late bitches, I'm already doing it now), and help her find a cheap convenient gym (also too late, bitches!)
Also... she has nice legs. They make good seatbelts. But always follow local laws and/or customs regarding seatbelt use!
Hinge: "You matched with Jade!"
Jade: "Hahaha you're cute. For good eyebrow threading services, go find a Persian lady in Aliso Viejo"
Me: *swoon*
TV Commercial: "Jaded of normal boring girls? Call Jade now! Satisfaction guaranteed!"
Jade: "Hahaha you're cute. For good eyebrow threading services, go find a Persian lady in Aliso Viejo"
Me: *swoon*
TV Commercial: "Jaded of normal boring girls? Call Jade now! Satisfaction guaranteed!"
by Parsa J. December 10, 2019
Get the Jade mug.Jaden is the nicest, most caring, and loving person in the world. He loves animals (especially puppies) and enjoys video games and spending time with friends. He might not be the most handsome person but when you need a hug he is there.
by sirquacksalot March 12, 2014
Get the Jaden mug.Related Words
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by hysteriapara August 10, 2003
Get the Jade Puget mug.The embryo formed by the joining of the sperm of Marshall Mathers and egg of Kim Scott. She was introduced to the world on Christmas Day, 1995 by way of the vaginal orifice of Kim Scott.
a.k.a. cutest little baby grrl in da world!!!!! omfg*~*~!!
a.k.a. cutest little baby grrl in da world!!!!! omfg*~*~!!
by Shannon February 24, 2005
Get the hailie jade mug.You're all teeny-boppers. He isn't Hott, or Cute, or whatever else you may have the urge to call him. He's gorgeous and beautiful. He's also the only real man that can pull off a pink tie. Well, any pink, for that matter.
by PretentiousLies August 29, 2003
Get the Jade Puget mug.The coolest, cutest, nicest girl ever. With the best personality, also very quick witted and very smart. Everyone should get to meet her at least once. Every guy is lucky to have her. Her name's even very hot!!!!!!!!!!
Guy 1: Man, that girl is soooo hot!
Guy 2: Of course she is, she's Jade!
Guy 1: How do you know her name is Jade?
Guy 2: ...
Guy 2: Of course she is, she's Jade!
Guy 1: How do you know her name is Jade?
Guy 2: ...
by CupcakeCutie1462 March 14, 2015
Get the Jade mug.by brittney November 11, 2004
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