disastrofucked

(adj.) \di-'zas-tro-'fuhkt\

1 : thoroughly confused, disordered or damaged, while having occurred suddenly, unexpectedly and to the point of irreparability : FUCKED-UP, FUBAR, BORKED

percy spilled redbull on his laptop, rendering it more or less disastrofucked.

by nosuch human November 30, 2010

disasturbating

Disasturbating: To revel in doom-mongering predictions about the future of mankind. A particular predilection of left-leaning environmentalists who claim we are but 30 years away from living in Cormac McCarthy's 'The Road', without radical change that is diametrically incompatible with how people actually want to live, and that is completely futile at the individual level anyway. There's also a right-wing version that thinks gay marriage and universal healthcare will somehow bring about the end of days.

"Oh my God, Peak Oil! Polar Ice Caps melting! Unchecked population growth! Stockpile canned goods and a shotgun, the apocalypse is coming!"
"FFS, stop disasturbating."

by OnlyMe! November 8, 2013

disastrabate

To masturbate to climax, using only footage of horrific natural disasters as pornography.

Bret: hey did you see the news last night? That tsunami killed like 300 people.

Chad: yeah man I TIVO'ed it so I can disastrabate when my wife leaves tonight.

by Moosedontcare November 5, 2015

Disassemble furniture

Euphemism for getting some, especially in the context of a beefcake visiting a girls apartment

Ron came over to disassemble furniture last night, it was the best furniture disassembly ever.

by Bloopbeepboop October 26, 2018

disasterbating

The act of masturbating violently, perhaps using objects that inflict pain on ones genitals, in order to achieve sexual pleasure.

1:"i was disasterbating yesterday with a a piece of plywood and i cant get the splinters out of my dick"

2:"i slammed my dick in the desk drawer yesterday when i was disasterbating and it is crooked now"

by Stretch911 April 19, 2011

Fuck nut cum disaster

A grown adult who is clearly product of a big big oopsie in the bedroom.

Person: That's not true you fuck nut cum disaster.

You: Aw.

by sa.l.t March 24, 2019

dissasperated

a cross inbetween dissapeard and dissintigrated

Bob: "where did kate go"
larry: "she just dissasperated in thin air"

by Tyler Edwardsen April 14, 2008