Vasectomy

A vasectomy’s a medical procedure. One that makes you half a man. Remember when you twisted up your garden hose? Well, essentially that is the plan.

You might be wondering how it works…
(Bum bum bum bum) You make a small incision in the scrotal skin. Isolate the vas and (isolate the vas and then you) hold it in position with a towel clamp, then you snip the fibrous tissue (then you snip the fibrous tissue). Now you'll never have to wear a condom when you do it with your wife,
(...or anyone else you do it with. We promise not to tell, like that new hot chick at work. You know, the one who always has high beams under her ribbed-white cotton T-shirt, but then stares daggers at you for checking her out, and it's like, why do you wear that if you don't want attention? But you know you shouldn't think that way because of the sexual harassment meeting you all had to go to. Seriously, how lame was that? And you couldn't help but notice that the female lawyer running the seminar had a huge rack, like, ridiculously huge for someone who has to talk about that kind of stuff. Well, I guess that's the definition of the word “irony”).

Say goodbye to manhood. Say goodbye to babies. Say goodbye to kids like Meg (empty out your sack)

Or you could just get a vasectomy.

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 8, 2023

vasectomy

no kids ever, but cream pies forever^^

You should get a vasectomy bae, i don’t want any kids.

by Dusuwcia November 22, 2023

Vasectomy Van Gogh

When someone says something so goddamned stupid that you cut your own cock off just to slap them with it.

If you are impotent anyway, give yourself a vasectomy Van Gogh to shut that stupid bitch up.

by Tipdock January 24, 2017

vasectomy safe

This textual description that indicates that a man has had a vasectomy. The implication is that since a man is now supposedly incapable of getting a female pregnant that a condom does not have to be used.

Consider that if a condom is used, whether the man has had a vasectomy or not, getting a female pregnant isn't an issue. Why even mention it at all.

A typical example would be a couple's text description in a swinger's website or in any other forum where couples are available for swinging and their personal and sexual preferences and details are expressed, such as the example below, this example is just a small part of a typical description of a couple,

Describe Yourselves:

Him:
He is 178 lbs, HWP, "v"-safe, (also vasectomy safe, or v-safe)....

Her:
She is...

by Diane Stowe October 24, 2007

vasectomy shooting darts

Vasectomy safe, no sperm is present in ejaculate

He felt much safer vasectomy shooting darts knowing he would not get her pregnant.

by ddare July 25, 2007

Vasectomy sex

Something one looks forward to after they have had enough children

I can't wait to have vasectomy sex!

by Mrs T July 18, 2017

vasectomy housing

In residential land use planning, a development which consists entirely of small apartments intended to house no more than two people each. The logic presumably is that, while landlords are severely restricted in their ability to turn prospective tenants away for having bred like crack-addled rabbits, they are able to turn people away if housing them would mean overcrowding a rental unit... so conveniently there are no units available with space for you and your hellspawn.

Nominally, while regulations vary between regions, the only opportunity for a slumlord to expressly declare a residential development "adults only" often is to force everything 55+ as a retirement or seniors' home. Vasectomy housing avoids the issue by building apartments small enough that there's really no room for all of these extra little people. While they won't say so publicly, local councils are well aware that building this sort of development means less burden on schools, playgrounds or other infrastructure.

by bitchuck September 20, 2024