Northern Turdburglers are a group of small to medium sized brown colored birds with most species being found in the Old World, New Jersey, and West Virgina. The group is treated either as a single family, Dukeieous Maximus or as a suborder Flyingousdoodooeatious. There are roughly 2 species of Turdburgler. All have fat heads, scooped bills, short legs, and a terrible sense of smell. Non-coincidentally Northern Turdburglers smell like shit, this is mainly due to their preferred diet of purehuman excrement. A nocturnal creature Turdburglers can be spotted diving into sewer systems scooping up dung for their young. Northern Turdburglers reproduce every 36 hours and lay their eggs in piles of humanpoo-poo as to for nobody will mess with dey babies. The Northern Turdburgler has an expected life span of approximately 2 to 6 weeks and smells very bad.
When you are taking a crap in a public restroom and someone tries to come into your stall, even though its locked they try forcing their way in because they dont know you are there