A programmer is a human, rock, or any other object capable of turning pizza and caffeine into code. Programmers minds are very complex - they like to explain things in ways that a normal human would not understand, and makes jokes that only programmers would laugh at.
Programmer 1: You create a gun module, a gun class, a foot module and a foot class. After realising you can't point the gun at the foot, you pass a reference to the gun to a foot object. After the foot is blown up, the gun object remains alive for eternity, ready to shoot all future feet that may happen to appear.
Programmer 2: BWAHAHAHAHAAHHA
Programmer 1: I even have one about Java!
You find that Microsoft and Sun have released imcompatible class libraries both implementing Gun objects. You then find that although there are plenty of feet objects implemented in the past in many other languages, you cannot get access to one. But seeing as Java is so cool, you dont care and go around shooting anything else you can find.
Programmer 2: BWAHAHAHAHAAHHA
Programmer 1: I even have one about Java!
You find that Microsoft and Sun have released imcompatible class libraries both implementing Gun objects. You then find that although there are plenty of feet objects implemented in the past in many other languages, you cannot get access to one. But seeing as Java is so cool, you dont care and go around shooting anything else you can find.
by Quojil February 21, 2014
Get the Programmer mug.by John Standish October 19, 2007
Get the programmer mug.Related Words
In software development, "Ghost Programmer" is a programmer that works for another person's task and receives no credit. This applies for programmers who doesn't have any project assigned to him/her; yet he is forced to join a certain team in a project and works for them secretly making sure the client would not know. When a ghost programmer finished his assigned task, the name/credits that will be written in the code and the document is the one who was originally assigned to that certain task.
Boss: Our project is delayed. We need help from someone. John, can you help with this bug fix?
John: Sure.
After 4 hours..
John: Boss, i'm finished.
Boss: Okay, since you're a ghost programmer, the client should not know about it.. So, the name you should write on the code and the document is the programmer who is originally assigned to it. Okay? :)
John: Okay. (Man! I'm such a ghost programmer. I also want some credits.. )
John: Sure.
After 4 hours..
John: Boss, i'm finished.
Boss: Okay, since you're a ghost programmer, the client should not know about it.. So, the name you should write on the code and the document is the programmer who is originally assigned to it. Okay? :)
John: Okay. (Man! I'm such a ghost programmer. I also want some credits.. )
by blitzkrrieg September 21, 2016
Get the Ghost Programmer mug.You've just spent the whole day trying to solve a problem, a design problem, a bug, etc. You know the solution is simple but you just can't see it.
A colleague walks past and notices your anguish: "What's up?".
"Oh, I'm ...". You explain the problem and what you have done so far. However you suddenly discover the solution before you have finished speaking! So far your colleague has been as useful as a cardboard cutout.
This happens often and I think it is due to you having to present your problem to someone in a way that you think will aid their understanding, often dispensing with some of the details. In doing so, you also clarify your own thoughts, untying them in your mind to eventually cite a solution.
Sometimes all it needs is a cardboard cutout of your favorite GURU!
-- RussFreeman.
Also sometimes known as a Programmer's Dummy - DarrenTarbard
A colleague walks past and notices your anguish: "What's up?".
"Oh, I'm ...". You explain the problem and what you have done so far. However you suddenly discover the solution before you have finished speaking! So far your colleague has been as useful as a cardboard cutout.
This happens often and I think it is due to you having to present your problem to someone in a way that you think will aid their understanding, often dispensing with some of the details. In doing so, you also clarify your own thoughts, untying them in your mind to eventually cite a solution.
Sometimes all it needs is a cardboard cutout of your favorite GURU!
-- RussFreeman.
Also sometimes known as a Programmer's Dummy - DarrenTarbard
by cellular January 21, 2015
Get the cardboard programmer mug.by ThePunisher4012 February 15, 2022
Get the Programmer mug.A programmer, or group of programmers, more interested in tacking more and more "bloatware" features to software, rather then cleaning up and optimizing existing code. Usually using the excuse "Computers are faster now, they can handle it"
Any real programmer knows performance > features and splash screens are soooo 2001.
Any real programmer knows performance > features and splash screens are soooo 2001.
Timeline of Photoshop suffering from Adobe Programmer Syndrome (APS)
load times on top performance computers.
Version Number
5 5 Seconds
6 10 Seconds
7 15 Seconds
CS 30 Seconds
CS2 20 Seconds
CS3 20 Seconds
CS4 35 Seconds
load times on top performance computers.
Version Number
5 5 Seconds
6 10 Seconds
7 15 Seconds
CS 30 Seconds
CS2 20 Seconds
CS3 20 Seconds
CS4 35 Seconds
by dmangstar September 24, 2009
Get the Adobe Programmer Syndrome (APS) mug.These programmers don't know actually how to write code from scratch or engineer anything; They watch youtube videos online on leetcode and the dry principle 100 times over. They can be intern vloggers, or some layed off PR intern from a big corporation. They commit to open source projects (documentation) and have a soft filter background pfp (With a bland tshirt, short hair or extremely long hair, it's binary; And talk in a very monotone soft voice). Their daily routine consists of waking up, reviewing all the trivia for their language, going into work and not being able to debug anything. However they can talk up a storm, just not actually be the engineers they're required to be. They job hop to the next job before anyone can figure out they actually don't know what they're doing. In meetings they will spit out all the trivia they know, keeping up the act long enough so the manager doesn't notice anything.
Person A: "You remember Jerry? On lunch yesterday he was talking about how he made project x and y in this framework, and how our systems can be completely re-written and improved within a month on this new cool framework he couldn't stop talking about"
Person B: "Oh yea I remember him, he seemed knowledgeable, he passed our medium and hard questions easily."
Person A: "Yea, haha thought the same thing. Turns out he just sat around doing leetcode all day, but I don't know if he even knows what a breakpoint is"
Person B: "His github was really nice!"
Person A: "Well he couldn't debug anything, I ended up doing all the work for him. I think he was just a Trivia Programmer"
Person B: "Really?"
Person A: "Yea he kept asking the same questions, didn't write anything down, never saw any improvements even though I was helping him. I think he just new a lot of trivia, but he can't code"
Person B: "Oh a Trivia Programmer"
Person A: "Yea, last I checked he's making lofi hiphop soft filter videos online about the dry principle. I don't think he applied it in any of his work"
Person B: "His latest video is 'Former Senior Startup Executive Developer Advice' and 'Doing Leetcode As An Intern'"
Person B: "Oh yea I remember him, he seemed knowledgeable, he passed our medium and hard questions easily."
Person A: "Yea, haha thought the same thing. Turns out he just sat around doing leetcode all day, but I don't know if he even knows what a breakpoint is"
Person B: "His github was really nice!"
Person A: "Well he couldn't debug anything, I ended up doing all the work for him. I think he was just a Trivia Programmer"
Person B: "Really?"
Person A: "Yea he kept asking the same questions, didn't write anything down, never saw any improvements even though I was helping him. I think he just new a lot of trivia, but he can't code"
Person B: "Oh a Trivia Programmer"
Person A: "Yea, last I checked he's making lofi hiphop soft filter videos online about the dry principle. I don't think he applied it in any of his work"
Person B: "His latest video is 'Former Senior Startup Executive Developer Advice' and 'Doing Leetcode As An Intern'"
by cynical idiot May 25, 2023
Get the Trivia Programmer mug.