Lasturbate

The last masturbation session one can fit in before whatever may await them that day or even in their life.

Prisoner 8356 was only an hour away from the chair, his only choice, to lasturbate.

by Jjcales January 11, 2012

Beasturbation

To masturbate with beast-like force. The act of extreme self-pleasure, sometimes involving painful sensations. It comes from the root of Beastiality, but it should not be confused with beastiality because this type of self-pleasure does not involve an animal. It only involves the animal-like force to pleasure ones self.

"As a single man, when I feel extra horny, I participated in beasturbation while watching The Office."

"Pam engaged in beasturbation so intensely using a guitar that it became out of tune for 2 years."

by coolpeople9809 August 31, 2011

blisterbate

To jerk off with such frequency that one develops blisters on their palm, resembling Tenome from Pan's Labryinth.

Jack choked the chicken so often when his girlfriend was out of town he developed blisterbates.

by Madmo February 25, 2015

blasturbating

Masturbating to porn at full volume while your wife and children are out of the house for an extended period.

John's wife and kids left for the beach today so I'm sure he's been blasturbating since he got home from work.

by Knoodle July 2, 2014

Flasturbate

To masturbate while having a flaccid penis.

Devon: That was a great flasturbation session.
Gary: How do you even manage to flasturbate?

by Flasty December 22, 2014

Master-Blasterbation

When a person masterbates while shitting at the same time. Producing a large log (depending on diet) that is for appearance sake cream covered.

Guy 1: Shit son I just got done Master-Blasterbating, shit got a little freaky and messy!

Guy 2: What the fuck is Master-Blasterbation?

by whitekneegrow April 29, 2012

Ass-Blasterbate

A form of masturbation involving fingering ones ass hole and extremely runny diarrhea. The act can be extremely loud and messy and for unknown reasons is frowned upon when carried out in public.

After days of eating Taco Bell, Ronald finally had the shits necessary to Ass-Blasterbate to the best of his abilities.

by TheWopShop December 31, 2013