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poopsturbate

Killing two birds with one stone
Gary: Holy shit, grandpa's funeral is in a half hour and I still need to jerk off and take a shit!
Paul: Poopsturbate! It's really your only hope
by papa moyer February 28, 2011
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posturbate

To post incessant, inane threads on an internet forum to alleviate boredom or sexual frustration.
Must be slow at work -- Scott's done nothing but posturbate all day on HC.
by Nemo Nemo August 3, 2007
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Poopterbate

When you tell everyone around you that you are going to the bathroom to poop, when all you really wanted was an excuse to beat off.
Jack - "BRB guys, I gotta take a dump"
Jill - "Whatever, he's just gonna Poopterbate"
by Michael Thayer January 5, 2008
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Poopturbation

1. The act of yo-yoing a turd in and out your kiester.

2. A person that simply cannot pass a turd in the street without molesting it. (“Fecalfelliac” or “poop loopy”)
1. The exercises really paid off, I can do a half hour long session of poopturbation, and as of last week, I no longer have to use my hands. But I still do.

2. “You wouldn’t believe what I almost stepped in, and ended up making love to.”
by Swamy swimwamlitts June 21, 2019
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Poosturbating

To masturbate while pooping, simple right?
Alex said he just had to take a dump but we know he was poosturbating since Courtney just bent over.
by Cheatachu April 2, 2008
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Pornurbate

To Masturbate over a Good Selection of HD internet porn
To Pornurbate masturbate - toss off wank choke the chicken over HD porn grott
by Pornurbate king October 21, 2012
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posturbate

When you have a load so majestic that you must upload a picture of it to Facebook, Twitter, or Intagram.
You: Hey man, did you see me posturbate last night?
Friend: Yeah, I'm unfollowing you on Instagram.
by jigganut January 2, 2015
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