"What took you so long in the bathroom?"

"Sorry, I was molesting a turd for a bit and had to wait for my erection to go away."

".... "

^ This is a good response if you don't want people to ask why you took long in the bathroom ever again

Molesting a turd by Jwhitt March 21, 2010

molesting myself

The act of subjecting yourself to unwanted or improper sexual advances or activity, from yourself.

What masturbators do, even though everybody knows masturbation is a perverted sin that will eventually lead to blindness, really hairy hands and complete insanity. :-P

I spent all last night molesting myself. Damn, my dick is sore!

molesting myself by tonyfamous October 8, 2010

molesting a snake

sexually abusing a snake

Bob: I saw you molesting a snake Jill.
Jill: shut the fuck up that was my anorexic baby who still had the cord attached.
Bob: oh..........

molesting a snake by weedhead11111111111111111 March 14, 2018

molesting your inner child

the act of masturbating to images that are animated in nature including cartoon characters, video game characters, action figures, dolls, and stuffed animals.

I feel kind of dirty. I watched "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" this afternoon and had to retire to the bathroom after the Jessica Rabbit scene to molest my inner child. <molesting your inner child>

molesting your inner child by The Black Irish Social Club July 26, 2009

molesting jellyfish

a sexy jellyfish that is blue ad gets laid every night with your mummy

omg mum are you riding that molesting jellyfish?!?!

molesting jellyfish by jelly rapest November 26, 2016

God Shot

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".

Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."

God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011

Word of the Day on September 18, 2026

city chicken

A food native to Pittsburgh/Western Pennsylvania in which cubes of pork and/or veal are put on a short, wooden skewer, breaded, then baked and/or fried.

I've heard that city chicken originated during the Great Depression, when folks didn't have enough money to buy full cuts of meat, so they assembled meat scraps on a wooden skewer, creating a make-shift drumstick. Hence the name.

Are yinz havin' city chicken for dinner?

city chicken by TRF August 31, 2006

Word of the Day on September 17, 2026

Is that cake?

Another way to say is this fake? Like the show real or cake

“Slayyyter just announced another album last night”
“No way, is that cake?”
“Yeah whoops this isn’t real”

Is that cake? by Sexyyred September 15, 2026

Word of the Day on September 16, 2026

just fokin missing her

native american reservation origin... to miss an ex so badly that everyone can see it.. can be used for either sex eg. just fokin missing her/him

friend : *noticably sad*
me : look at you all sad & shit
friend : shut up!
me : just fokin missing her huh?

just fokin missing her by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026

Word of the Day on September 15, 2026

endwarfins

The rush of neurotransmitters and neuropeptides triggered specifically by watching the Seven Dwarfs march home singing "Heigh-Ho" — that particular high of pickaxes, whistling while you work, and communal domestic bliss in a cottage built for men half your height.

I only meant to watch the Heigh-Ho scene for the endwarfins, and then it was two hours later and I'd watched the whole movie.

Endwarfins aren't just a Snow White thing — I get the same hit off the Lollipop Guild in Oz.

endwarfins by Howard Ogden September 13, 2026

Word of the Day on September 14, 2026

caillou

A slang term used to describe a bald person, typically someone who is completely bald or has a closely shaved head. The term is derived from the infamous, hairless kids’ cartoon character of the same name.

Example 1:
“Did you see that caillou over there? His head is reflecting the sun like a disco ball.”
Example 2:
“I think Dave is finally accepting his hair loss. He just went full caillou and shaved the whole thing off.”

caillou by WMH01 September 12, 2026

Word of the Day on September 13, 2026